Author: soloatsixty

Welcome back to SOLO at SIXTY!

“The sky is the daily bread of our eyes.”  Ralph Waldo Emerson

I finished up my wonderful week at the beach by being ON the beach, soaking up the warm sunshine and marveling at the perfect Carolina blue sky. And even though Chapel Hill is truly Blue Heaven, I realized that the beach is also Blue Heaven to me. As I was enjoying the gentle ocean breeze, and the soothing sound of the waves crashing over one another, a loud sonic BOOM startled me (and woke me up!). Holy Cow what was that?!?!  Well… it was the BLUE ANGELS practicing for their weekend show. And it was amazing! There were 6 planes, flying in different formations of 2, 4, and then all 6 together.

“When we feel stuck, look at the sky. The clouds remind us that everything changes.”

It has been 14 years since the Blue Angels performed in Myrtle Beach. The promoters were expecting over 80,000 spectators for last weekend, but 120,000 showed up. Did you know that the Blue Angels were founded in 1946 and are made up of aviators from the Navy and the Marines? Their aircraft is always considered to be combat ready. If you have never seen the Blue Angels, you are missing out. I remember seeing them as a child, but truly, watching as an adult, I felt like a child as did most of the people on the beach. We all turned our chairs and ooohed and aaahed over their amazing maneuvers. They fly in a diamond pattern so close to each other you think if one of the pilots sneezed, there would be a crash. Their paths crisscross; they fly straight up, loop over, and fly straight down. And they fly so low that it looked as if they might crash into one of the hotels! Great entertainment on both Thursday and Friday afternoons.

Beach…

ahhhhhh…

ooooohhhhh…

“Angels exist, but sometimes they don’t have wings and are called friends.”

Watching the Blue Angels on such perfectly beautiful days started me thinking about the Angels in my life. There have been many. Some in predictable situations, some totally unexpected. Two years ago, I called my sister on a Friday morning while waiting on the movers to come to move “us” into a new home, and told her my marriage had just imploded. She immediately came up from NC to be by my side and helped me unpack and settle in to my new house. By the time she left Sunday morning, everything was unpacked, every picture and mirror hung and my new house was mine. The following Monday, I told my boss who immediately connected me with an attorney. The next day I emailed my former next door neighbor who had moved to Kentucky three years prior. She immediately came and stayed with me and helped me tell some of my girlfriends. Emailed my former neighbors and other friends who came to see me, brought dinner and wine. (Emailed because I could not verbalize any of it then.) Angels everywhere. My kids, my sisters, my brother-in-law, my friends, my co-workers, my son-in-law’s family, my church, all y’all who brighten my day with comments and “likes” for my blog! Angels…

Don’t worry…beach happy!

Sisters…

“A true friend is like an Angel who lifts us up when we cannot fly.”

When you are SOLO, everything and every decision becomes your responsibility. Before I traded my car, the air pressure light came on several times this winter. What to do… I was not comfortable putting air in my tires and heck, where do you find air anymore? Remember the old gas stations with full service? Long gone. BUT, I have a wonderful auto shop I have gone to for 21 years because of their service. They called our cars the Madigan Fleet when we had 6 cars at our house (5 drivers plus a business car). I digress… I was worried about my tire pressure and was trying to get to them before they closed on a Friday afternoon so they could check it out, but traffic was horrendous. Called them and they waited until I got there – put air in my tires, no charge. Not once, and I went every time my light came on. Oh and did I mention my son-in-law’s brother works there? Not to belabor my wonderful son-in-law’s family, but luckily for me, they have taken me in. Remember the story about his Grandpa getting my Christmas tree? Angels…

“Sometimes angels are just ordinary people that help us believe in miracles again.”

So, a funny story from last week at the beach. It was time for a new grill. Angels were looking out for me! Went to Home Depot where the people could not have been nicer or more helpful. Found a great grill that had one price outside and a different higher one inside. Turns out the grill HAD been on sale, but that ended two days earlier. They sold it to me at the sale price. The guy who helped me said there was a scratch on it – took more off. But, it would not fit in the back of my Volvo and the delivery fee was $79. Geez… that was almost half the cost of the now discounted grill! And I was SOLO. How to get it home. “Well, ma’am… see that flatbed truck over there? You can rent that for $20 for 75 minutes.”  “Do you think I can drive that?” “Of course! I’ll tie the grill down for you.” Done. I drove 25 mph with the emergency blinkers on the whole way home. Called my brother-in-law and asked him to meet me at my house to help me unload it. Got the truck back in 30 minutes and I did NOT drive 25 mph with blinkers on the way back – I was having fun then! OH did I mention that it was right before closing time? Angels…

My beach neighbors have been wonderful as well in so many ways. They have helped me get rid of a snake, get my trees trimmed, oiled up my locks, helped me with repairs, kept an eye on my house, shared friendship. Angels…

“A real friend is like an angel who warms you by her presence and remembers you in her prayers.”

Hmmmm…

Murrells Inlet…

Ahoy Matey!

Do you have Angels in your life? I bet you do. Just look around you at the people who love you, care about you, help you, put a smile on your face. And know that you are an Angel to many people as well. I only hope I have been someone’s Angel at some point in my life. Appreciate the Angels in your life and strive to be an Angel in someone else’s life, because as we all know, none of us is promised tomorrow.

Angelically,

Leslie

Welcome back to SOLO at SIXTY!

Remember the movie True Grit from 1969? Young Mattie hires an aging Marshall, Rooster Cogburn (John Wayne), to bring in the man who killed her father. She travels to find and hire Cogburn, because she has heard he has “true grit.” Do you know anyone who has true grit? What is grit after all? It is defined as “courage and resolve; strength of character.” I  know some people with grit. My kids for example.

Each of my kids went to college out of state, back in NC, where they knew no one. I cannot tell you how excited I was for them, and yet it was so painful for me to leave my babies where they knew no one. (My advice to parents taking their children to college is to forget the Kleenexes and take a towel!) They courageously wanted to forge their way on their own. And they did so, very successfully. They have each endured many things in their lives, faced them, and conquered them. I am very proud of my kids. (Can you tell?)

“Just draw on your grit; it’s so easy to quit – it’s the keeping your chin up that’s hard.”  Robert W. Service

Last weekend my daughters, son-in-law and I went to Chapel Hill to once again run the Tar Heel 4 and 10-miler. My younger daughter, son-in-law and I ran the 4-miler course, while my older daughter ran the 4-miler with us (not really with us, but same race!), then ran the 10-miler course to complete the Double Down Challenge (she wanted the 3 medals). She crushed the 14 miles! That is GRIT! After we finished our 4 miles, we were able to see and cheer her on at Mile 9 and also at the finish of her 14 miles. And I saw her once in our 4 mile race coming out of the neighborhood as I was entering it. Those of us who ran the 4-miler among 6800 runners, also displayed grit to endure and finish our race. (note – my son had a wedding to attend this weekend and missed the race.)

Pre-race… it was chilly!

Post Race… It’s in the books!

Look at all of those medals!

Blooming in Chapel Hill!

“Life is not a marathon, you are running your own race. Just be better than you were yesterday.”

What about Duchess Kate Middleton who gave birth Monday morning to a Royal 8-pound baby boy, only to appear in public with the new prince, waving, heading home a mere 7 hours later, looking as beautiful as always complete with perfect hair, makeup, and in heels no less! Now that is TRUE GRIT!

But the truest example I know of TRUE GRIT is a young 33-year old mother of 2 who lost her foot to cancer last month. If you have not been following this story, you are missing out on the most impressive display of courage, grit, and grace. This mother is the daughter-in-law of my late childhood friend who lost her battle with cancer in 2011. I know she is so proud of how Jenn has handled what life has dealt her, and the example she has set for all of us to follow. Someone asked me “How could God let this happen?” And I said, “Look how God is helping her handle this, and how she is in turn helping others.” There is a Go Fund Me Page to help this mother, life coach, and fitness fanatic purchase a prosthetic blade for running, as insurance only provides one basic prosthetic, which she has and described to her kids as her superhero foot! She plans to run a 5K by the end of this year and I have no doubt she will. TRUE GRIT.

“I don’t know exactly what the future holds, but I’m stepping forward with grit anchored in grace.” Julie Graham  (I love this quote – my new motto – stepping forward with grit anchored in grace!)

I discovered my “true grit” 2 years ago, when I found myself SOLO. Funny, a friend was explaining my situation to someone last week and it surprised me when he said I took a such a different route than most women in my position normally do, who wait around for their spouse to return. After discovering the truth, I moved ahead with my life quickly, protecting myself and my children financially and emotionally, as I realized my marriage was over. My kids also told me they now realize how fast I moved everything as they have friends whose parents have been going through divorces for 2+ years. This is not to say it was easy, far from it. It was very painful but I learned a lot about myself and realized how strong you really are when that is your only option. True grit to see it through. Within 2 months of my ex leaving, papers were signed and I filed for divorce. Nine months later the divorce was final and he got married. And I discovered that life goes on and it is what you make it, so I have made mine wonderful, fun, and very rewarding.

“Anyone can quit, it’s easy. I believe it’s much better to grit your teeth and get on with things.”  Michael Sprott

Last weekend was so much fun for me. I love spending time with my kids, and it was wonderful spending it with them in one of my favorite places – Chapel Hill. We had a pre-race dinner together Friday night, ran the race Saturday morning early, and had a great post-race lunch at our favorite restaurant, Top of the Hill. Oh and of course, some Carolina shopping! With my new car I needed a new Carolina decal. Also found some great items for tailgating this fall – looking forward to football season and being back in Chapel Hill on Saturdays. And we got to look in the stadium and see all the new Carolina blue seats that are being installed. Just waiting now to see where our season tickets will be located.

U.N.C. everything is blue!

Cheers from TOPO!

Where are our seats?

Since I was halfway to the beach, it only made sense to leave there and head to the beach. Heavenly to find myself back in my happy place. Spending the week getting ready for Beach Season – powerwashing everything I can reach from the house to the Golf Cart to the chairs to the porches. And had one rainy day to do the same inside – thorough spring cleaning. Also lots of sleeping, running, eating fresh seafood, visiting with my sister, and renewing my soul on the beach by the ocean.

Clean golf cart, bikes, house!

Air in tires, bikes ready!

Ahhhh heaven on earth!

“For whatever we lose (like a you or a me), it’s always our self we find in the sea.”  E.E. Cummings

Oh, there are also GRITS – Girls Raised in the South – I totally consider myself a member of this tribe. Special women raised with southern grace who know the true meaning of “Bless your heart” and are steeped in grit. I mean, one of my favorite dinners is scrambled eggs, grits, and toast after all!

Search for your grit. It is there. Believe me, it will come forth when you need it. And search for whatever makes you happy and soothes your soul, because as we all know, none of us is promised tomorrow.

Best,

Leslie

“…There is just one moon and one golden sun, and a smile means friendship to ev’ryone. Though the mountains divide and the oceans are wide, it’s a small world after all.” It’s a Small World – The Disneyland Chorus

Ever been to the Magic Kingdom at Disney World and ridden the 15-minute long ride, It’s A Small World? Were you able to get that song out of your head after the ride was over? Imagine being on that ride when it fails, and you are stranded listening to the song looping over and over. That has actually happened several times. And the guests on the ride described the experience in many unfavorable terms – “Hell” was used more than once.

Magic Kingdom 1996…

Mickey, Pluto, & my kids!

But don’t you just love “small world” events? Things that happen to you that cause you to stop and say “Wow, it really is a small world!” Remember how I am fascinated with the ISS (International Space Station)? I get an email letting me know when it will be passing over Charlottesville, and when and where to look for it. That happened last week. It was going to pass overhead at 8:30 pm and would be visible for 4 minutes. Of course it gave the direction it would travel, but I am directionally challenged and have no idea when looking to the sky off my deck which way is east, west, north, or south. I just look. Shared this with my kids. My son texted me and told me it would pass over Charlotte at 8:31 and he was watching. Same time I was. We both saw it about the same time. That seems pretty amazing to me – that we are 4 ½ hours apart and yet, we were both texting and seeing the same thing in the sky at the same time. That was very comforting to me – another connection with my out of town child. It is a small world.

“For one moment, walk outside, stand there in silence, look up at the sky, and contemplate how amazing life is.”

Last summer I was on the beach looking for shells when I stopped to talk to a couple of ladies doing the same thing. After a bit, I told them about my blog. Late last year I reconnected on Facebook with an “old” NC neighbor I had not seen in over 20 years. Funny thing, I commented on one of her posts and one of the ladies I had met on the beach also commented, asking how we knew each other, as she is friends with my “old” neighbor. And another high school friend chimed in as well that she too is friends with her. We all “re-met” through a facebook post, discovering we had a common friend. It is a small world.

“Internet has made the world a small town again.” Ana White

Years ago, my boss brought around a former employee of his who was back in Charlottesville visiting family and introduced her to me because she had moved to NC. When I asked her where she moved to in NC, she said, “Oh a little town called Clemmons.” “WHAT?!? I lived in Clemmons for 40 years! Where in Clemmons?” “A great neighborhood called Waterford.” “WHAT?!? I lived in Waterford!” It gets better… she moved into a house about 4 down from mine, was working at the school my kids had attended, and she had met all of my friends. In essence, she and I had exchanged lives. It is a small world.

“People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.”

I do believe people cross our paths for a reason. I don’t believe it is an accident when in this huge world, someone comes into our life, or leaves our life. We may need them for assistance, guidance, support, joy, or just a lesson. And when that has been fulfilled, their time in our life could be over, and they leave. But we have benefited and grown from the experience. Cherish it. Learn from it. I look back on my life and see people who have been there for me at different times, and people for whom I have been there. And then our lives may go in different directions, sometimes intersecting again, sometimes not. But what is meant to be will happen. And we will be better for it. I know I have been and continue to be blessed by the people in my life.

“Sometimes we need someone to simply be there. Not to fix anything, or to do anything in particular, but just to let us feel that we are cared for and supported.”

Morning run… flowers along the way!

Just a girl and her truck… uh… her husband’s truck!

Last week we had snow flurries on Thursday and 80 degrees on Saturday. My daughter and son-in-law came to town to be here for the birth my of my son-in-law’s brother and his wife’s sweet baby girl. Made for a fun weekend for me with them! Another sleepover at mom’s with my daughter and then a good, long run Saturday morning that did not feel like a small world! After a brewery lunch, we headed to the baseball game between UNC and UVA. Double header. And Carolina won both! WOOHOO! First time they have won a baseball game up here that I attended. The baby waited through Thursday night…Friday and Friday night… and waited until Carolina won the double header before making her entrance into the world late Saturday night. She did this to benefit my son-in-law. She’s already a smart girl!

Let’s go HEELS!

Game 1… bases loaded.

Game 2… bases loaded.

Favorite Auntie…

Favorite Uncle…

“Being there for a friend is one of the greatest gifts you can give. Another one is allowing them to be there for you, too.” ~Doe Zantamata

Go out and explore our world. Acknowledge, embrace, and cherish all the small world events that happen in your life. Be a big person in a small world, because as we all know, none of us is promised tomorrow.

Best,

Leslie

Welcome back to SOLO at SIXTY!

Ever let a cuss word slip? I grew up in a home where my mother never smoked, drank, or said a cuss word… until she got much older – cussing that is. I don’t really remember people cussing much as I was growing up, but now…  whew! You hear it all the time these days! But do you say “those words”?

“Hey autocorrect quit messing with my cuss words you mother forklift!”

When my kids were little, I was so careful about my language and would not let them say stupid, butt, or any cuss words. My mother always said “butt” was a crass word so we referred to that body part in many other ways. Same with my kids. When my older daughter was working on her college essay, her English teacher said her essays were very well written, but so boring! So as a joke, she chose the UVA essay question “What is your favorite word and why?” What was her favorite word? “As a child, I was not allowed to say the word BUTT. Had to refer to it as my behind, patootie, hiney, anything except butt. But now (pun intended) my mother uses this word often when singing the Nelly song Hot in Herre – “Girl I think my butt getting big!” And she went on and on… Her advisor said she had to submit that essay because it was hilarious. She got into UVA with that essay. Butt. Nuff said.

“Swearing…because sometimes Gosh Darn and Meanie Head just don’t cover it.”

This same child once used the word S#%T correctly at the age of 4. I have NO idea where she could have heard that word!  I told her if she said it again, I would wash her mouth out with soap. Several days later, S#%T again. Oh my, what was I to do? Soaped up her tongue of course! I am not sure washing out a child’s mouth with soap has the same meaning now – what with kids eating TIDE PODS! What’s with that?!?!

NO WAY these sweet kids would cuss nor eat Tide Pods! Right?

I recently read in Women’s Health that swearing helps with pain relief and stress levels. Dropping the big “F-BOMB” can release levels of “adrenaline which can be both numbing and stimulating.” OK I have to admit (and my kids will attest) that S#%T and DAMN (both pronounced in 2 Southern syllables) have come out of my mouth. However, I have never said the F-Word out loud. Yes, I have thought it many times, but just cannot get it out of my mouth, no matter how hard my co-workers try to get me to! Maybe I need to let some of those words fly. Maybe we all do. Might release some stress.

“Under certain circumstances profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.” Mark Twain

I remember a friend saying when she and her husband were mad they had hall sex. Hall sex when you are mad? Yes, she said. We would pass each other in the hall and say F%#K YOU! Wonder if that relieved their stress? There are a couple of people I could say F%#K YOU to, but I would probably regret it. So I will just think it!

“When angry count to four… when very angry swear.”  Mark Twain

Life has been a bit stressful lately. To say work has been busy is an understatement. We have upgraded and transitioned to both a new club automation system and a new payroll system for our 12 clubs over the past several months, culminating this week. AND I added a new member to my Admin team. This was a wonderful but very hard decision – change. But a good one. Work has been my “crutch” for the past 2 SOLO years. And I have used this crutch working many long hours. A place where I love to be, comfortable, knowing I am needed. I have had control over all the accounting, but I finally admitted I need help. Started with 6 clubs, now there are 12. Plus there will come a time in the future when there will be someone else sitting in my chair. Better to start that process now. Remember how hard change is for me? I am trying to embrace it. And letting some cuss words fly in my thoughts!

“Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.”  Calvin and Hobbes

Did any of you have snow last weekend? We did in Charlottesville. Made me want to let a few cuss words fly! Snow Saturday and then again Monday. But Sunday was nice. Took a break from work (month end so working on Sunday) and met some friends to catch up and walk the Monticello Trail. Definitely a stress reliever!

This tree was cussing the snow!

Not cussing on this beautiful day!

My younger daughter and I went to our Short Pump club in Richmond for their First Friday last week, to take the special cycle class taught by our favorite cycle instructor, my older daughter. Visited with my granddawg before heading back to Charlottesville. Lots of stress was relieved that night! And continuing with my Movie Pass, I saw Black Panther and LOVED it! My younger daughter saw it for the second time with me.

Special Cycle class …

Oh my sweet Granddawg!

So find what relieves your stress and make sure you use it. Stress affects your health, and not in a good way. Let a few cuss words fly (but not around the kids!). Take an exercise class or go for a walk. Take every opportunity to spend time with those you love, the best stress reliever, because as we all know, none of us is promised tomorrow.

Best,

Leslie

Welcome back to SOLO at SIXTY!

Did the Easter Bunny visit you last Sunday? Did you have an Easter Egg Hunt? I did not have to search at all for a fun-filled, family Easter weekend! Saturday was a beautiful day up here: sunny, breezy, and cool. Perfect day to have lunch outside at Blue Mountain Brewery with my daughter, son-in-law, and his mother. Oh and sweet Paige! The people magnet. Everywhere Paige goes people want to pet and love on her. And she loves the attention. (What girl doesn’t?!) It was also the perfect afternoon to visit King Family Vineyards, where I saw my younger daughter, got a glass of wine, sat outside and visited with people also enjoying the perfect Saturday afternoon. And people watched.

Paige the “people magnet”!

Glass of Voignier…

Saturday night was “Sleepover at Mom’s” with my girls! Love having my kids under my roof. We left for NC Sunday morning before anyone was even up for the Sunrise Service so that we could get OUR pew at New Philadelphia Moravian Church for the Easter service. Met my son, sister, and brother-in-law there, saving our seats. Nothing like being a Moravian on Easter Sunday. After the inside, outside, and graveyard services, the kids and I picked Mom up, got our Easter chicken (KFC – once a year) and headed to my sister’s house for our traditional Easter lunch. Don’t you love family traditions?!

Inside Easter Service…

Outside Easter Service…

Graveyard Easter Service…

Let’s have the blessing…

Food’s on!

Mom and her grandkids…

The Easter Bunny brought my son a t-shirt quilt! Yes, I saved all of my kids’ t-shirts from infancy through high school graduation. Added some college and fraternity t-shirts and VOILA! One beautiful, special, memorable t-shirt quilt! My mother made each of my girls a t-shirt quilt for their high school graduations, but was unable to make my son’s when his turn came. Through a quilting friend, I found Ellen of TopStitch Designs who described making this quilt as “telling the story of Michael’s youth.” So true. There is even a sleeve on the back in case he ever wants to hang it. Truly a beautiful work of art! What special memories are wrapped up in this quilt!

So many memories…

Keepsake forever!

“Memories are timeless treasures of the heart.”

While sitting in church Sunday morning, many memories flooded my thoughts as I realized that 21 years ago, April 1, 1997, my family moved from my hometown of Winston-Salem, NC, to Charlottesville, VA, for what was supposed to be 2-4 years. And yet, here it is 21 years later and I am still in Virginia. A lot has happened in these past 21 years. My children grew up, graduated from high school, graduated from college, one got married. I have made a lot of wonderful friends, have a job I love for a company I love. But I also found myself divorced, SOLO, something I never would have believed possible 21 years ago. What if we had not moved to Virginia? Would I still be married? Would I be celebrating my 38th wedding anniversary this year? I have no answers. And never will.

“What if… everything you are going through is preparing you for what you asked for.”

Ever stopped and thought, “What if…?”  What if I had not moved to Charlottesville 21 years ago? What if I had not moved into the cul-de-sac I did? What if I had not applied for a job at ACAC 17 years ago? What if I had not transferred to Wake Forest from Carolina? What if I had not asked my ex-husband to the party at the lake July 4, 1979? What if I now move to Chapel Hill? Or to the beach? Or back to Winston-Salem?

What if we had not moved to the neighborhood we chose? I would never have met my wonderful friends and neighbors. My children would not have gone to their wonderful neighborhood schools. They would not have made the wonderful friends they did. Lifelong friends for all of us.

What if I had not applied for a job at ACAC? I mean, I did it on a whim. I was planning to go back to work in 2000 and had interviewed for another job, when my dad had a stroke. Because I went to Winston-Salem to be with him in the hospital, I missed the 2nd interview and they had to fill the position. Funny how things work out. I did not look for another job until 6 months later when I applied to ACAC. And here I am, 17 years later at the job I was meant for. Working with friends who are like family to me.

“Don’t let any more what if’s become should haves.” Doe Zantamata

What if I had not transferred to Wake Forest from Carolina for my last 2 years of college. I would never have met my ex. I would not have my beautiful children. I also made some very dear friends at Wake who are family, godparents to my oldest, as I am to their oldest.

What if I had not been so brazen to ask my ex to a 4th of July party at the lake as “friends”. We were both dating other people, but found ourselves together from that day forward. Married a year later. Do I regret this? Marrying him? Moving to VA? No. Absolutely not. We had a great marriage. I have great kids. Great friends. I have no regrets. Well, the only regret is that I have been away from my family for 21 years. We all lived within 10 minutes of each other before I moved. I try to see them as often as possible, and thankfully, with phone calls, text messaging, g-chatting, and facetiming, I am in constant contact with my kids and my sisters. But I do miss not living closer to my family. And I miss my NC friends.

My beautiful sisters…

My beautiful kids…

“If you don’t leave your past in the past, it will destroy your future. Live for what today has to offer, not for what yesterday has taken away.”

Now… what if I move to Chapel Hill or to the beach or back to Winston-Salem? This is in the future, and I have no idea what I will do. Or when. But I am not fretting about it. I am, however, setting things in motion for when that day comes. Yes, it is a dream to live in Chapel Hill, as it is to live at the beach. But I do have some very dear friends in Winston, along with my sisters and mom, plus my home church (still a member), and I would be happy relocating there. And it is closer to the beach.

“So, what if, instead of thinking about solving your whole life, you just think about adding additional good things. One at a time. Just let your pile of good things grow.”

My life has not taken the path I thought it would. Far from it. But I truly believe everything happens to get you to the place you are supposed to be. I am looking forward to my future, trusting that the best is yet to come. You should too. Look forward, not backward. Don’t waste your time worrying about the what-ifs of your past, because as we all know, none of us is promised tomorrow.

“Just because the past didn’t turn out like you wanted it to, doesn’t mean your future can’t be better than you ever imagined.”

Best,

Leslie

Welcome back to SOLO at SIXTY!

“Somebunny loves you!”

The Easter Bunny is scheduled to visit this coming Sunday, April 1st (no fooling!). Where did March go? Here’s hoping it goes out like a lamb! I don’t know about y’all, but I am ready for spring to arrive. Will the REAL SPRING please stand up and stake your claim, otherwise summer will probably kick you to the curb.

Last Sunday was Palm Sunday. You must be a Moravian if you can sing the Hosanna Chorus and fold your palm frond into a cross on Palm Sunday. I was a Presbyterian this past Sunday (nothing wrong with that!) and I watched the children of the church enter waving their palm branches, and even though there was no Hosanna Chorus, it was still special. I miss being a Moravian on the BIG church holidays of Palm Sunday, Easter, and Christmas, and always try to make the Easter service back in Winston-Salem with my family. This year will be no different.

So why am I away from the Moravian Church most Sundays? There are no Moravian churches in Virginia. When I moved to Charlottesville 21 years ago, I searched for a church for my family, and when people would ask “what we were” and I answered Moravian, they thought I was saying Arabian! They had never heard of the Moravian Church, which is a protestant faith, much like the Methodist Church; very active and popular in NC and PA. “In essentials, Unity; in non-essentials, Liberty; in all things, Love.” Basically: Follow the 10 Commandments – the essentials; have freedom to make your own decisions in the non-essentials; use love in all decisions and actions. I have educated my friends and co-workers about many Moravian traditions such as Lovefeasts, Moravian stars, and sugarcake, which I make often and bring in to share.

Palm Sunday begins the Holy Week celebration with the triumphant entry into Jerusalem as palms were waved (hence Palm Sunday) and ends with another big celebration on Easter Sunday. But in between the celebrations are devastating lows – a betrayal and a crucifixion. Very often, life mimics this – happiness, followed by lows, before rebounding. Thankfully the highs seem to outnumber the lows.

“Life is a circle of happiness, sadness, hard times, and good times. If you are going through hard times, have faith that good times are on the way.”

I have experienced many highs and lows over the past couple of years, but I try to concentrate on the highs. This past weekend was one of those high times. I had dinner with my younger daughter and her friends who were visiting with their new baby. I got to hold this precious baby and inhale that sweet baby scent. Also cheered my younger daughter as she successfully ran the Charlottesville 10-miler. And, I got to see my older daughter, son-in-law, and my precious granddawg Saturday afternoon.

OH that sweet baby scent…

RUN LIKE MAD!

Happy Easter Paige!

Talk to Gma!

“Standing alone doesn’t mean I am alone. It means I’m strong enough to handle things all by myself.”

I am proud of the many things I have accomplished SOLO – moved into a new house, set up all new accounts in my name only, stood up for myself many, many times, and this past weekend I bought a new car. As you all know, I travel a lot, SOLO. I loved my old car, purchased BD (before divorce). But I have put a lot of miles on that car since becoming SOLO, going wherever I want, whenever I want, and it got to the point where I either needed to trade it or drive it until it died. So I decided to trade it for one with even more safety features. And boy did I succeed!

“Success doesn’t just come and find you, you have to go out and get it.”

I am a researcher when making a big purchase and this was my biggest purchase since becoming SOLO. After checking out Edmunds, Kelly Blue Book, and Consumer Reports, I went to CarMax to see what my car was worth. Looked at the local Volvo dealership where I was sure I would find my car. Since I was visiting my daughter and son-in-law in Richmond Saturday afternoon, I decided to see what was at the Volvo dealership there. They went with me – did not want me test driving alone. My sweet son-in-law, who always drives, was such a trooper, sitting in the back seat holding on for dear life while I was test driving the new Volvo. Not because I am a bad driver (heaven forbid!) but the salesman had me testing out the safety features. One is “Adaptive Cruise Control”. He had me driving down Broad Street and told me DO NOT touch your brakes. I caved … had to hit the brakes or else I thought I would hit the car in front of me! He made me do it again and NOT touch my brakes. Lo and behold the car stopped on its own – adjusting speed and stopping due to a car stopped in front of us without me ever touching the brakes! WOW! Then I had to swerve over the center and side lines (son-in-law was green and holding on to my daughter at this point) just to see how the car vibrates and auto corrects back in the middle of the lane. AND I had to parallel park. Now I admit I am a terrible parker which is why I always choose a parking space I can just pull through. But this car parallel parks itself. I kid you not!

After test driving, we truly were starving and at this point, my son-in-law needed a beer. The salesman made an offer on my car and an offer to me to purchase the new car. That is when I pulled out the CarMax offer and discovered they match offers. GREAT! Then I made an offer and they countered. At this point I said, “We are starving and I owe my son-in-law a beer.” The sales manager came over, offering to order lunch in for us and I declined saying I needed to play with the numbers a bit. And of course they were not buying the beer. Well, I guess they did not want us to leave for fear we would not come back. “Ms. Madigan, what will it take to get you in this car?” Told him. He countered. I countered. He accepted and I was truly shocked. And starving! Told him to get the paperwork together while I treated my kids to BBQ and a beer at Buzz and Ned’s. And I drove home in my new car! There is only one downside… new cars do not have CD players! What’s with that?!? How am I supposed to listen to my books on CD? My Christmas CD’s? All of my birthday CD’s my brother-in-law makes for me?!? My daughter assured me we would figure that out… it’s called downloading Mom.

Goodbye Old Volvo…

Hello New bigger Volvo!

“Believe in  yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle.” Christian D. Larson

OK, one more biggie I accomplished SOLO! When I got home, I realized my garage doors would not open automatically with this new car. I needed to sync my garage door openers to my new car. I am sure my neighbors were wondering what I was doing with my garage doors going up and down multiple times, me on the ladder pushing the “learn” button on the garage door, then running back to my car to try and sync it many times. But I was finally successful. SOLO. I was very proud of this feat! Another high point, made so much sweeter after fighting my way through some lows.

I am looking so forward to this weekend. Another happy time. I get to be a Moravian on Sunday. I get to see all of my kids and my dear family in NC. And show them my new ride. I hope your Easter is very special and you get to spend time with your loved ones. Don’t forget to tell them how much they mean to you, because as we all know, none of us is promised tomorrow. And remember, things do get better. Always. Life goes on.

Hoppy Easter,

Leslie

Welcome back to SOLO at SIXTY!

Today, March 21st is the first day of spring. Don’t know about y’all but I am ready to say So Long to winter. Farewell. Adios. Ciao, Baby. I am so ready for spring, when the air is cleaner and warmer. The grass becomes green. Trees and flowers bloom. And summer is just around the corner. Yet, what is happening here today? You guessed it… SNOW! NOOOO!

Last day of winter 2018

First day of spring 2018…

Crazy weather!

Spring is such a time of renewal; of getting your life in order for the rest of the year. Spring cleaning, so to speak. Almost like a detox. Clean out the clutter and cobwebs from winter. Throw open the doors and windows and let in the fresh air. Cut the heat off (Southern for “turn the heat off”). The days are longer and invite us to do more in the evenings. People are outside. Walking around the neighborhood and visiting with neighbors rarely seen in the winter.

“Spring is a time to find out where you are, who you are, and move toward where you are going.”  Penelope Trunk

I spent last weekend at the beach, renewing my soul. It was definitely spring down there, “Sunny and 75” (Joe Nichols). It was so warm that there were people in the ocean – not me of course! Water was not as cold as I expected, but too cold for me. I lucked out with a wonderful weekend escape while it was cold with snow showers in Charlottesville! Caught up on my lost sleep from watching so many late basketball games, and came off the beach Friday to watch my Tar Heels win. Went out to dinner, ate at the bar watching more basketball and talking with a lot of golfers. This is prime time for golfers at the beach. I love eating at the bar. It’s the most active place in the restaurant, bartenders are always friendly, you meet a lot of people, and it is not awkward or obvious that you are SOLO. Speaking of which, I thought a lot about being SOLO last weekend as I watched couples around me, and came to a great realization – it is pretty “dadgum” (thanks Roy!) nice being SOLO, on my own schedule, sleeping in, running, walking on the beach whenever I want to and going out to dinner at the restaurant of my choice. Could be worse! I celebrated St Patty’s Day at my favorite restaurant in Pawley’s Island, again surrounded by golfers and a couple of college reunions. Took a lot of pictures for many groups and one took mine!

Ahhh the beach…

St Patty’s Day!

“Spring is wonderful anywhere, but it is always better at the beach.”

The start of spring is also a great time to take stock of your New Year’s resolutions. Are you on target or have you been sidetracked? I am continuing to follow through with my goal of seeing my out of town kids and mom more. I left the beach early Sunday morning and headed to Charlotte to have brunch with my son, his girlfriend, my older daughter and her husband (who were in Charlotte for the NCAA tournament). I was in heaven surrounded by my out of town kids. Left there and headed to Winston-Salem to visit with Mom in her new home, and met my younger sister with her grandson, Jack there. Oh how I adore that baby! He is such a blessing. Mom seems to be doing pretty well. We walked down the hall to their ice cream shop where they serve great soft ice cream (all you can eat) and then further down the hall to visit my friends’ mothers who are also living there and take them some Easter candy. It was such a wonderful day. Lots of driving, but so worth it.

My favorite Out of Town Kids!

Sweet Jack!

My sister and our sweet Momma!

OH Jack!

Back to spring cleaning. I love lists and have made a list of things I want to do at my home in Charlottesville this spring – basically, power washing my porch and deck and replacing the plants/flowers in my planters and flower pots. Also need to start thinking about my garden. And I have a list for the beach – need to clean all the bikes, beach chairs, golf cart, and have the decks stained. And I need to clean out the pantries in both houses – get rid of any “expired” foods. My older daughter is great at spring cleaning. I came home one day and she had all of this food on my island. I said, “What happened here?” to which she responded, “Mom, all of your food is expired. How are you even alive? You need to start over here.” I did. Basically, because my pantry was then completely empty!

Spring is a great time to clean out the clutter and cobwebs in our lives as well. Both physically and emotionally. Just like my outdoor plants that have withered and died over the winter, what needs to be replanted, fertilized, and watered in my life? Do I have a positive outlook? Positive attitude? Are there negative thoughts that I need to replace with positive ones? Is there something new I want to do? I cannot wait for warm weather to arrive and stay! I am looking forward to running outside in the early mornings, going to the farmers market, grilling out and having dinner on my porch, and just sitting on my porch watching Hallmark movies. Does it get much better than that?!?

“Spring is nature’s way of saying ‘Let’s Party’.” Robin Williams

But first, winter needs to step aside. Saw this on Facebook: “It’s like winter got mad and stormed out, but keeps coming back in yelling, ‘oh and one more thing!’ ”  Right? Time to give it up winter, and allow spring to make its grand entrance.

“If we had no winter the spring would not be so pleasant.” Anne Bradstreet

There are new beginnings right around the corner. So spring clean your life – clear out the clutter. And if it does snow, just remember, no matter the obstacle, life will get better and spring will definitely arrive. Find what makes you happy, because as we all know, none of us is promised tomorrow.

Best,

Leslie

Welcome back to SOLO at SIXTY!

It’s March Madness Y’all!  The BIG DANCE! And I am not referring to the Cha-Cha lessons I am now taking since we finished up with Salsa. This is heaven for all college basketball fans, and this Carolina basketball-loving girl is no exception! It’s madness because not only will there be great basketball, there will also be major upsets. Cinderella teams will make a run in the tournament. Brackets will be filled out. And busted. Bets will be made. Fans will be sporting their team’s logo-laden attire. I have enough Carolina t-shirts, sweatshirts, and sweaters to be able to wear something different for an entire month, which I did last year when my Tar Heels WON the Championship!

Next to Christmas (and summer!) this is my favorite time of the year. There is nothing like college basketball, except maybe college football. But honestly, basketball is my sport of choice. Especially Tar Heel basketball. I have been a fan since the 5th grade when a school friend of mine wrote a poem about Charlie Scott and UNC basketball and had to read it to all the 5th grade classes. Dean Smith (did I ever tell you how I thought Dean Smith was a DEAN at UNC? I did not know his name was Dean – I know, very blonde of me!) was coaching then and recruited Charlie Scott, the first African American to play basketball for UNC. I had no idea what college basketball was, much less Carolina basketball, but I started watching and have continued since. The beginning of my love affair with UNC!

After reconnecting at one of our high school reunions (we have one every year now), that sweet 5th grade friend sent me both the Sports Illustrated magazine from 1968 with Charlie Scott on the cover and a poster signed by none other than Charlie Scott! What a dear!

Sports Illustrated Dec 1968

Signed by Charlie Scott.

Speaking of Cinderella teams, none is more remembered than the 1983 NC State team coached by the late Jim Valvano. Who has not seen the end of that game with Dereck Whittenburg shooting an air ball only to have Lorenzo Charles dunk it to win the game, followed by Valvano running all over the court celebrating in shock? (am I right, Ed Coble!?!)

“Don’t give up… don’t ever give up.”  Jim Valvano

Saturday afternoon at KFV…

Busloads at the winery!

March madness also describes our weather lately. Sunny and warm one day, flowers and trees blooming, snowing the next. Saturday was one of those nicer days and after sleeping in (late night Carolina games were killing me), I visited my younger daughter, who was working at King Family Vineyard. Went SOLO, got a glass of wine, warm bread and cheese, worked on my blog and watched all the people coming and going. It was packed! Precursor to the wedding season are the bachelorette parties. I bet I saw 10+ bachelorette groups celebrating. So fun to watch these young, beautiful brides-to-be celebrating their last days of being single with their best girlfriends, while anticipating the excitement of their wedding and marriage. And yet, I could not help but think about their future – their marriages. Especially with so many families and large groups of friends enjoying a nice Saturday with a glass of wine, taking a break from all of the basketball. Which is actually what I was doing – celebrating Carolina’s commanding win over Duke the previous night and anticipating our win over UVA later to win the ACC Championship Tournament (didn’t happen). My younger daughter invited me to her house to have dinner and watch the game Saturday night. Good game, but UVA proved why they are #1.

“You’re not defeated when you lose. You are only defeated when you quit.”

There are extreme highs and lows in March Madness. Lowest for me? April 4, 2016 when Villanova beat UNC on a last second shot in the final game. (Wow, I was not even SOLO then!) Highest for me? April 3, 2017 when Carolina won the Championship! (I was SOLO then!) Pure madness erupted in Chapel Hill as Franklin Street filled with fans celebrating! My son and his friends were there for the madness and will never forget it.

“Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen.” Michael Jordan, the GOAT

March Madness hit a sweet family in a much different way this week as a young wife and mother of 2 (the daughter-in-law of my childhood friend Luanne), bravely made the decision to have her foot amputated due to cancer. Her positive attitude through the whole ordeal is beyond admirable. This is her way of conquering cancer and living life to its fullest. She plans to run a 5K by the end of this year. I have no doubt she will do so successfully. If you are interested, there is a Go Fund Me Page to help with providing a prosthetic foot for everyday use and a blade for running. Unbelievably, insurance does not cover this. She is a life coach and her message is never take anything for granted. So true.

I am constantly amazed at the perseverance and strength of people when pushed to limits they never imagined facing. Much like the Cinderella teams who come out of nowhere, with heart and drive to pull out a win no one thought possible.

“You never know how strong  you really are, until being strong is the only choice you have.”

Have you enjoyed the lighter evenings this past week? Even though we lost an hour of sleep last weekend, I am thrilled with the extra light. We are gaining 2-3 minutes of daylight every day. There are 11 hours and 55 minutes of light today, March 14, 2018, so enjoy every second of it, because as we all know, none of us is promised tomorrow.

And let the madness begin. Enjoy the longer, and basketball-filled days. Fill out your brackets. (Mine has UNC winning it all, as always!) Watch some great college basketball. Get caught up in the excitement. Find a team and root for them. And GO HEELS!

“The ceiling is the roof. Let’s make this happen.” Michael Jordan

Best,

Leslie

Welcome back to SOLO at SIXTY!

Do you daydream? Think of how wonderful life could be, if only…? I admit it, I have always been a daydreamer. My mother told me I lived in a dream world most of my life, a fairytale world. She is right. After all, I thought I had met the perfect man, had perfect children, led a perfect life. Two out of three ain’t bad!

“Everything starts as someone’s daydream.”

I have “daydreamed” many fairy tales in my head. Now I just need to put them on paper. That is my big dream actually – to be an author. But it is so fun to think “what if”. And to daydream. I daydream about moving to Chapel Hill, surrounded by Tar Heel fans and that lovely Carolina Blue! Attending every sporting event. Oh and being Roy’s personal assistant. I mean, after all, I would be perfect in that role – I am organized, detailed oriented, and a huge Carolina fan. That’s my dream – to live in Chapel Hill and then move either where my kids are or to the beach.

“Life’s like a movie, write your own ending. Keep believing, keep dreaming.”  Jim Henson

I think dreaming and believing go hand in hand. You must believe in your dreams and trust they will come true. You must believe things will work out and life will be better. I was crushed 2 years ago when my life turned upside down. Crushed that my dreams, what I believed my future would be, were no longer going to come true. Once I accepted that I was heading down a much different path, I changed my dreams. And I do believe things have worked out for the best and will continue to do so in the future. I am dreaming of a WONDERFUL future.

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” Eleanor Roosevelt

As I have said before, I am loving the SOLO life. I would not change a thing right now. But in the future, finding Mr. Right might be fun. What would he be like? Well, how about a wonderful man who is:

SINGLE… Kind… Caring… Romantic… Trustworthy… Fun… Fit… Nice looking… Tall… Financially Independent… and a CAROLINA fan!

If you know this guy, send him my way! A girl can dream, right? I read somewhere that you should never give up on finding your dream mate, because that person is searching for you too. Well here I am!

I went to a wonderful baby shower last weekend for my son-in-law’s brother and his wife. Their dreams are coming true this May when they will welcome their precious daughter into their family. And honestly, their baby will be the best dressed baby ever! I have never seen so many adorable baby outfits. And I got to see my older daughter, again keeping with my New Year’s resolution of seeing my out of town kids more.

So many baby gifts!

Ah my sweet daughter and me!

What are you dreaming of? I also dream of a cure for cancer and Alzheimer’s, pure happiness for my kids, peace in our world, grandchildren to spoil (no pressure kids!), more beach time, and my Tar Heels winning another championship. Oh, and writing that book! That is a dream and a goal I have had for a long time and one I plan to pursue. After all, several of my dear friends have written books.

“If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it.”

Don’t forget to set your clocks AHEAD this weekend – Spring Forward, Fall Backward. Yes, we will lose an hour of sleep, but this means Spring is just around the corner! It may be darker in the early mornings, but it will be lighter longer after work. I am dreaming of those long, summer days!

Spring is around the corner!

Dreaming of the beach…

“Always arm yourself with HOPE. HOPE of a better tomorrow, HOPE of a better life, HOPE of a better you.”

So go out there and dream a little or a lot, and hope for the best of everything. Dream about those things that make you happy, and make them happen, because as we all know, none of us is promised tomorrow.

Best,

Leslie

Welcome Back to SOLO at SIXTY!

Tomorrow, March 1, 2018, marks a first anniversary I never dreamed I would be “celebrating” – my divorce. Am I celebrating? In some ways, yes. Honestly, it still does not seem real. How could I be divorced? Me. I married for life – “for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; till death us do part.” Not just for 36 years. But here I am, divorced. SOLO. Life has radically changed for me over the last 2 years, but I can now say that truly, it has been for the better. Me, who hates change, has actually embraced the changes in my new SOLO life, and find it to be … well, FUN!

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” Socrates

Friends ask if I am lonely. I don’t have time to be lonely. I stay very busy and keep my life full with working, traveling, movies, dancing, wineries, football games, lunches and dinners with friends, working out, and anything that includes my kids. I was on the phone with a friend talking about the “SOLO life” and in the background, her husband said, “Les, please don’t make the single life sound so great! Remember some of your friends are married.” I would NEVER want a married friend to find herself in my position, but if she does, I want her to know it is not that bad! Life is what you make of it.

“Don’t be afraid of CHANGE. You may lose something good, but you may gain something better.”

This past year my sisters and I have seen a change, a decline, in our mother’s memory health. Yes, she knows who we all are and is always so glad to see us, and is still as sweet as ever, but her needs are a bit more than they were last year. She has a hard time remembering that my children are grown and out of college. In her mind, they are still “children”. She doesn’t remember the last meal she had. And of course she does not believe she is 88 or that I am 60. “How could that be?” she asks. Rarely does she remember that I am divorced. She will ask where my “ex” is and I just say he is traveling or I don’t know. That sometimes prompts her to ask if we are together and when I say no, she does remember, though she can not believe it. However, last weekend she asked me if I was dating anyone! I about fell over as it was the first time she actually remembered I am now SOLO!

Our Sweet Momma!

Moving day – Mom and her girls!

We moved Mom from Assisted Living to the Memory Care unit at a different, and what we believe to be a better facility for her, last weekend. My sweet son came up from Charlotte and my nephew from High Point, to help us. (Gave me another opportunity to see my “out-of-town child” per my New Year’s resolution!) I ran into an “old” friend visiting her mom who lives there. My college roommate’s mom is also there so I am excited to know that when I go visit mom, I may see them as well, and will always go by and say hello to their mothers. Also, my cousin and several friends live nearby to Mom’s new digs and I am hoping Mom will have more visitors. How did Mom react to her new beautiful room (it is beautiful thanks to my older sister – the decorator!)? She said we shouldn’t worry about putting her “somewhere”, but not to tell her momma, my grandmother,  because she would not like it. We assured her we will not tell Grandma Isabel. Oh boy…

So thankful to see my son and for his help!

Blessed to see an “old” friend!

Mom’s beautiful new room!

Family picture wall…

“To care for those who once cared for us is the highest honor.”

Has anything changed for the worse for me in the past year? Honestly, I cannot think of anything. As friends and family tell me all the time, I am doing things I never would have if my situation had not changed. Some things have not changed at all – I have lunch or dinner with my “old” cul-de-sac neighbors often and am so thankful for these ladies! Not to mention meeting other friends for dinner. Met one last night for dinner to catch up.

One really fun change is my addiction to movies. Remember Movie Pass? My younger daughter and I saw 2 movies last week – Phantom Thread, and Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. Three Billboards was wonderful! Phantom Thread was different – though I am very glad I saw both. I still want to see Lady Bird and I, Tonya.

Movie downtown!

Theater with recliners… and we took our blankets!

I have some other friends who are facing the anniversary of tomorrow in a much different way. Their loved one is celebrating her first year in heaven. Their lives have seen many changes over this past year as well. There is no time limit for grieving. They will be in my thoughts and prayers tomorrow.

“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.”

Tomorrow is also my nephew’s (the one who made me a Great Aunt) birthday. I am so proud of the husband and father he has become. And if you need something to brighten your day, just watch the following video he sent me of my great nephew. I have watched it a million times and laughed or smiled each time.

“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”  Joseph Campbell

Embrace the changes that occur in your life. Look for, and make the best in every situation. Stay positive and do whatever makes you happy, because as we all know, none of us is promised tomorrow.

Best,

Leslie