Author: soloatsixty

Welcome back to SOLO at SIXTY!

I got to see all of my kids this past week, so you know that makes me a happy momma. Last blog I wished y’all a happy 4th of July. My 3rd time celebrating the 4th SOLO, and I got to do it with both of my daughters, and my son-in-law’s family. I was fine. Got to run with my older daughter and then have a glass of wine with her at King Family Vineyard where my younger daughter was working before we all went to the cookout at my son-in-law’s Grandpa’s house. Lost at Corn Hole (no surprise there). Marveled at my son-in-law’s fireworks which were the best ever! And I had 2 of my 3 kids with me. But the big highlight of the day was Sweet Baby Lily, my son-in-law’s brother’s baby. First time I have held her and let me tell you she is precious. I did not want to give her up.

Serious Cornholers!

Strategy session…

My son in law made this – notice the lighted hole!

Sweet baby…

My Granddawg!

My beautiful daughter…

“To us, family means putting your arms around each other and being there.” Barbara Bush

Thursday morning I headed to the beach after picking veggies in my garden at 5:30 am. (No joke! Had no opportunity to pick all week and needed to do it then or my okra and cukes would have been MONSTROUS when I returned.) Was on the beach by 1:00 and stayed until after 7:00 pm. Heavenly. Late afternoons are my favorite time on the beach. I read another book, found my beach treasures, napped, ran, replenished my soul. And Friday afternoon, I met up with some of my “old” cheerleader friends and their families who were vacationing an hour away in NC. So fun to visit with friends who have known you for almost 50 years! We carpooled to school and cheerleading practice in our nonair-conditioned cars. Imagine that! Thanks to social media, we keep in touch, but we still had some catching up to do. Saturday was spent on the beach with my older sister followed by dinner at our 2nd favorite restaurant, Gulf Stream, which always has great sunsets.

The sound of the waves…

Beach and books!

Cheerleaders…old friends!

“Happiness is meeting an old friend after a long time and feeling that nothing has changed.”

Sunday I had a date with the best looking, most wonderful guy EVER!  My son! Oh how I adore that kid. Loved catching up with him in Charlotte. Also met my younger sister at Mom’s in Winston-Salem before heading back home to the real world. So thankful Mom still knows who I am, and yes, she thinks I am in my 30’s! And you know what? I really don’t want to go back in time. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my life. Was happily married with 3 wonderful kids. Basically a stay at home mom (which I loved being) with several accounting clients so I could work from home. But I actually love where I am in my life today at 60. SOLO and living life my way.

My favorite Man!

Oh Momma!

As I ran my normal route through UVA this week, I saw many parents and “first years” (UVA speak for freshmen) on grounds (UVA speak for campus) attending orientation, looking very apprehensive. Reminded me of going to all of my kids’ college orientations (SOLO I might add). I was terrified at the first one – my older daughter’s at UNC. As we got off the shuttle, she said Mom I am nervous, to which I wrongly replied, Me too honey. I had no clue what to do and they separated us from our kids right away after singing the Fight Song. Realized I had let this child choose a college where she knew NO one and would be 4 hours away from home. What was I thinking? But it had been her dream… and it was coming true. Then my younger daughter’s orientation 3 years later at UNCW was nerve-racking as well, but she was very calm and confident. Second child. She would be over 5 hours away from home, but only 10 minutes door to shore (Wrightsville Beach). I had a hotel room at Wrightsville Beach for her orientation! And finally, 3 years later, my last college orientation for my youngest, my son’s at UNC. Again, he nor I knew a soul there. But it was more fun and less scary as I knew what to expect this time and knew my way around campus and Chapel Hill. Hard to believe this college journey started in 2003 and ended in 2014 with my son’s graduation from grad school.

“Being a Mother is not about what you gave up to have a child, but what you gained from having one.”  (or three!)

So my week ran the gamut of family, extended family, old friends, new memories, old memories. I got to see all of my children, my sisters and my mom. I got to spend time with old friends and their sweet families. I had a great week, how about you? Did you do anything for YOU? Look in the mirror – that is the one person who will always be there for you so make sure you take care of yourself. Have some fun! Make the most of each and every day, because as we all know, none of us is promised tomorrow.

Best,

Leslie

PS I cannot end this blog without a word about the incredible rescue of the Thai soccer team and their coach. What big answers to big prayers. My sweet Momma asked me Sunday if my son played soccer with these boys! Oh Momma, no, he is 27 and they are 11. Never mind that they are a continent away! BUT she remembered my son was a big soccer player!

Welcome back to SOLO at SIXTY!

Happy 4th of July! Hope y’all are celebrating with loved ones, a cookout, and fireworks. That is how I am celebrating. My older daughter and her husband came to town last night to help his Grandpa get ready for the BIG cookout. Y’all, my son-in-law’s Grandpa has more friends than anyone I know! And they all get together for the 4th at his house. Oh and family too. Luckily, I get included as do my kids. This party has been going on for years – his house is close to the Charlottesville fireworks so you can sit in his backyard and watch them, which we do AFTER my son-in-law puts on HIS fireworks show (which is pretty darn good!). Of course he had to buy those fireworks at the beach since you can’t get real fireworks here.

“May we think of freedom, not as the right to do as we please, but as the opportunity to do what is right.”  Peter Marshall

I sat down to write my blog this week and drew a blank. Writer’s block. Normally I have thoughts and ideas and have written something by Sunday night. But this past week and weekend were very busy at work, getting ready for month end. Worked a lot and worked late. However, I made time for those early morning runs (always a priority) and an early morning trip to our club in Short Pump for my older daughter’s 6:30 am cycle class Thursday morning. Started my day off great! Worked this weekend (as did some of my sweet teammates) to get everything in order for financials to come out today (the 4th!). Now I can escape to the beach tomorrow morning early!  But I had no time to think about the blog.

Mother-Daughter Cycle Class…

Mother-Daughter 4th of July HOT run!

“If it’s important to you, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse.”

Over the weekend, my younger daughter asked if I could help her. She had just had an overwhelming week. Long hours and late nights working on a project for work. Plus had worked both weekend days for several weeks. I knew it had been rough – she was totally taken out of her routine. I told her to remember that it was just a few days – start over and get back on plan. She did. Sunday before going to work at the vineyard (where she works a couple of weekends a month), she made time to actually make her bed and sit down for breakfast. Seems simple, but it worked. New day, new week, new month, new girl. Time to reset. She also asked if I could come over and help her clean her house. Nothing had been touched and she just could not face it alone. She was mad at herself for letting it get so out of control and did not know where to start. Of course I will help you! And I did. It was fun and we conquered her house. Deep cleaned side by side. Therapeutic. Overwhelming for one person, but manageable when someone helps. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. It is brave. Same way I felt on moving day to my new house. Called my older sister, said I was moving to the new house alone and she immediately came up. Told me later she knew how overwhelming it would be moving, made so much harder by my discovery of having to do it SOLO. She was right. So right. And with her help, I was unpacked and settled in before she left.

“A person has two hands, one for helping himself, the other for helping others.”

I have now been in my new house for over 2 years and need to go through some boxes in the basement and my storage room. And need to clean out drawers and closets. But, like my younger daughter, it is a bit overwhelming. Doesn’t have to be done immediately. My younger daughter and I talked about this and decided we would ask the Master Purger, my older daughter, to help both of us with some purging and organizing. She is by far the Master. She made her now husband purge about a 100 t-shirts he had owned since middle school, Even if they still fit. But she did let him keep all of the Carolina t-shirts! She helped me pare down my clothes to the point of getting them all in 1 closet – all seasons. Do you like it? Love it? Have you worn it this year? No? Then it is gone! Now there are many things I will NOT let her purge – I have all of my kids’ writings from kindergarten through high school. And many special “memtoes”. But I also have a lot that needs to leave my house, and the Master Purger will help. We keep saying we’ll do it the first rainy weekend that I am in town but haven’t had one yet. I keep dodging those rainy weekends with sunny ones at the beach!

“Success has nothing to do with what you gain in life or accomplish for yourself. It’s what you do for others.”  Danny Thomas

I did not spend my whole weekend working and “cleaning”. Saturday night I celebrated the upcoming marriage of one of my “old cul-de-sac” kids at a local vineyard. This will be #5 of the neighborhood kids to get married. Kids that I watched grow up for the last 21 years. It was a wonderful night filled with “old” friends and neighbors. Catching up. Making plans to get together again soon. And celebrating young love.

Celebrate the 4th. Celebrate your life. Be bold, be brave, be bright. Help others whenever you can, because as we all know, none of us is promised tomorrow.

“Laughter is the fireworks of the soul.”

Best,

Leslie

PS – It is so hot up here, but the Hallmark Movies and Mysteries Channel is showing non-stop Christmas movies for 2 weeks! Enjoy!

Welcome back to SOLO at SIXTY!

Wow… this is my 60th blog post! And in my 60th year! I’ve come a long way from blog post #1 (Sweat, Tears, or the Sea: Part 1). Time really does lessen the pain we experience, and so do “Sweat, Tears, and the Sea”. I’ve learned a lot about myself through these 60 blog posts. I’ve learned that every day is precious and not to be taken for granted. Remember how I am such a planner? I mean, right now, my calendar is planned out through November! BUT, I am finding I have also become a bit more spontaneous. Point in case? Last week I decided to head to the beach Friday morning and boy am I glad I did! It was a beautiful weekend at the beach, and a less than perfect one in Charlottesville. And I can do these things on the spur of the moment now that I am SOLO.

Thursday night I hosted a retirement party for a dear friend, and fellow teammate at a local brewery. We tend to think alike and sometimes dress alike! Frick and Frack. Lucy and Ethel. Have worked together for 16 years. Won’t have to say goodbye to her (thank heavens) because I’ll still see her around the club and we’ll continue to take some workout classes together, and we’ll still hang out. Just won’t see her at the office every day.

Retirement Party!

Retirement lunch after the party…

“Retirement is when you stop living at work and start working at living.”

So after her party, I decided I would head to the beach early Friday morning. Yes it would be a quick weekend trip, but I wanted to see how my newly stained decks looked and just needed that beach time. Left Friday morning at 5:30 am in pouring down rain, arrived at noon to a beautiful, sunny day at the beach. And the beautiful weather continued Saturday and Sunday. Ran, even though it was hot and humid (I love the heat!), read 2 books, napped on the beach, walked, searched for those special beach treasures, and let the sea heal my soul. Just put all of my worries in the ocean and let them wash out to sea. I always feel so renewed after a trip to the beach. And with the long days of light, I was able to enjoy most of Sunday on the beach before leaving mid afternoon since I could still get home before dark. (Broke my record and made it home in 6 hours 15 minutes with 4 stops!)

Low tide, large beach, my chair!

2 books read – both great!

My beach treasures…

“The voice of the sea speaks to the soul.”

Someone asked me if it was lonely going to the beach SOLO. Absolutely not! I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, and however I want. Stayed on the beach each day until 6 pm. Friday night I got a take out from one of my favorite places and then went for a bike ride. Went out to dinner later Saturday night at my favorite place, yes Frank’s, and then stopped by Murrells Inlet and walked around the Marshwalk listening to all the live music. It was a beautiful night and I was not on any schedule but my own. SOLO. It was fun y’all!

Ahh Franks!

End of the Marshwalk…

Marshwalk at sunset…

“Single isn’t a status. But it’s a word that describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.”

Last Thursday was my favorite day of the year – June 21st, the longest day of the year with almost 15 hours of light. Oh how I love these long sunny days. Don’t you? Makes it easier for me to make that 6 ½ drive later in the day to or from the beach. I can run very early in the morning because it is light before 6 am. Also lets me fit in time after work to walk around the neighborhood and check on my garden. This week I picked green beans, okra, and cucumbers. It is producing much better than last year’s. Like me, my garden has also prospered over the year. I love eating food right out of the garden.

“The longest day you’ll ever experience is still only 24 hours long.”

I decided this year to have no regrets. I don’t want the summer to end and find myself saying “I wish I had…” So I am making every effort, and taking every opportunity, to do the things I want to do. See my kids, my mom, my family, go to the beach, to movies, read good books, visit friends. May sound boring to some, but it is all I want to do. It’s what makes me happy.

“Look forward with hope, not backwards with regret.”

Remember that every hour, once past, is gone forever. Make the most of each day and have no regrets. Find what fulfils your life and do it. And spend time with those you love, because as we all know, none of us is promised tomorrow.

Best,

Leslie

Welcome back to SOLO at SIXTY!

I hate needles. I mean, I REALLY hate needles. Worst part of giving birth 3 times? The IV. When I have to have blood drawn, I don’t look. I get a flu shot every year at work – never look. When my kids got their shots, I never looked. I bravely gave blood one time at work during a blood drive for a co-worker’s husband. I was doing pretty well until the person drawing my blood said, Wow your blood is really flowing. I made the mistake of looking, and then all of a sudden I said I don’t feel very well and all I heard was the Charlie Brown teacher saying Wah Wah Wah. Felt like I was under water looking up and realized my chair has been inverted and sweat was pouring out of me. How embarrassing! A fellow teammate threw a towel at me in sympathy and probably fear for herself – she was next.

“Don’t let your fear of what could happen make nothing happen.”

Early one morning last summer, I tripped on our downtown mall while running. I popped up and looked around frantically to make sure that no one had seen me. WHEW! Pride in tact, I checked to make sure nothing was broken – I have suffered 2 broken wrists from running – one in winter on ice, one in summer with heat – but with this fall I had basically landed on one hip bone. Since I was still in one piece, I continued with my run. When I got back to the gym and showered… OUCH!  I discovered I had scraped my knees, elbows, hands, and that one hip. Well… I continued running all summer and messed up my other hip. Turns out, I had been overcompensating to protect the injured hip (which healed nicely). I did not run as much last winter since it was so cold (and I am a wimp for cold weather), but once warm weather arrived, I got my mojo back and started running again. A lot. And probably overdid it with my hip. It never hurt while running, just after – walking, getting up, sitting down, generally moving. So my sports doctor diagnosed me with tendonitis and prescribed dry needling. Ever heard of it? Me neither. Just the mere mention of needles puts me in a stupor. But I wanted my hip to feel better so I agreed to give it a try. Luckily for me, our ACAC Physical Therapy Clinic (part of our fitness center) performs dry needling and I know the therapist. Dry needling is similar to acupuncture, only with much longer needles going ALL THE WAY into your muscles. I had six of these inserted directly into the muscle of my hip… with no numbing ahead of time. Electrodes were then attached to the needles for 15 minutes of treatment. Evidently, you have chemicals in your muscles that, when traumatized (as in overcompensating while running), clog up. They get knots. Dry needling breaks these knots up and get your muscles working in tandem again. And it’s working for me! Did it hurt? Well, yes and no. I did not scream, but I definitely gritted my teeth, and I definitely did NOT look at the needles! Once the needles are in, it does not hurt. Plus, it gives me an opportunity to take a nap during the day. (Yes, I can sleep anywhere – dentist chair, doctor’s office, physical therapy table with long needles inserted into my hip…) I had another nap, I mean treatment, today, which makes three. Only a couple more to go and my hip should be back to normal with no pain.

You know, I have no memory of being afraid of needles as a kid. But then again, sometimes my memory fails. Maybe I was traumatized and it carried over into adulthood. I had originally wanted to be a nurse, but the needle thing was a problem. My younger sister is a nurse. A great nurse!

“Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.”  Doug Larson

“How much convincing would it take to get you to go to this with me?” This is the text my younger daughter sent me last week, along with a link to a 40th anniversary screening and sing-along for GREASE. DUH… no convincing at all! I told her I was game! Ever been to one of these Movie Party Sing-Alongs? Me either, but it was a blast! We had the best seats, and they gave us props to use throughout the movie – a tambourine, candy cigarettes, a comb, a glow stick, and a popper. We watched the movie and as each song was performed, the words appeared on the screen and we all sang along. Holy Cow – I saw this movie 40 years ago in the theater. And even bigger Holy Cow – I was in my junior year of college, had transferred to Wake Forest, and was working with the youth of our church and took a group of 14 year-olds to this movie. What was I thinking?!?! Watching it now, I realize there are a lot of inappropriate parts for a church group! But what fun this movie was (and is)! Great music, and oh John Travolta is so adorable with those blue eyes and dimple in his chin. And Olivia Newton John was so fun to watch. (Have to admit when I was young I thought she was part of a singing group – Olivia, Newt, and John.)

GREASE is the word….

Props…

what fun!

“I love those memories that make me smile no matter what is going on in my life right now.”

Did y’all have a good Father’s Day? Funny thing… after church this past Sunday, I had my picture taken again for our church directory, SOLO. Needed to replace that “couples picture” since “that couple” no longer exists. And we sang “Here I am Lord”… are you familiar with this hymn? Oh my, I cannot sing this hymn without tearing up. So many friends have shared the same sentiment with me.

“Music touches us emotionally, where words alone can’t.”  Johnny Depp

After church I decided to go see my younger daughter at one of my favorite spots – King Family Vineyard, since she was working. I guess I am becoming a regular out there! Her coworkers are so friendly and welcoming, and it was a beautiful day. KFV hosts polo matches every Sunday from May through October, so there was also a great crowd. As I watched all the families celebrating Father’s Day, I realized that I really don’t celebrate this holiday anymore. My older sister texted that she was spending Father’s Day doing what our dad would have loved to have been doing, and was probably doing in heaven – sitting on the beach enjoying the sunshine. I mean there has to be a beach in heaven right? Because on earth, the beach is the closest place to heaven for me.

Beautiful Sunday…

Polo matches…

Yes girls play too!

“Life happens. Plans change. And all that matters is that you’re happy with where you’re headed.”

When my daughter got off of work, we went to see Oceans 8 which was GREAT! Would recommend this to everyone! By the way, I also saw Solo: A Star Wars Movie this week. I enjoyed it because I saw the original Star Wars movies and wanted to see how Han Solo evolved. Besides, I love the title: SOLO! haha! (And yes, that makes 3 movies I saw this week. Thank goodness for Movie Pass!)

Cannot end this blog without wishing my dearest college friends HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! They are celebrating 38 years of marriage tomorrow. What a great example they are setting for their 2 married children. Love you Lisa and Chet!

Find fun things to do and fun people to do them with. Enjoy life, every day, because as we all know, none of us is promised tomorrow.

Best,

Leslie

I miss my mom… yes she is still living, but no longer in a position to listen, understand, and give advice. Or just hug me and say, “Trust me… everything will be ok. You’ll be ok.”  I know a lot of you miss your mommas too. Many of us have lost our mothers… either they have passed or are suffering from dementia. My mom knows me, my sisters, my children, and our family… but her memory fails at times, and she still will not believe she is almost 89! I visited her last weekend on my way home from the beach, and when one of her neighbors said something about being 92, Mom couldn’t believe it. Asked me how old she was, and when I said she would be 89, she kept saying, no really, how old am I?

“A mom’s hug lasts long after she lets go.”

So many questions I want to ask her. So many things I want to talk to her about. I mean she went through everything I have… same experience, but unlike me, she still had a child at home, my younger sister. Life was no picnic for either of them. I wish I could talk to my mom about her divorce, but she rarely remembers I am divorced and when I remind her, she is heartbroken. So best to avoid that subject. Still… I miss my momma. I know my sisters do as well. My younger sister recently said the same thing to me – she was having such a terrible day and went to see Mom and just wanted Mom to “be present”, to hug her and listen and tell her everything would be ok. I told my sister, that is why you have sisters. We have each other and are thankful that we do. But still, there are times when no one but your momma can make you feel better. I am so thankful I can be that momma to my children. I will always be there for them. Home base, constant, like the sun and the moon.

“When you look at your mother, you’re looking at the purest love you will ever know.”

No one can replace your momma, but family and friends are a good substitute. Nothing like being with “old” friends. The ones who have known you since childhood. Who listen and care. I got that opportunity last week at the beach. Met up with 2 “old” cheerleaders. We were all going to be in the same area for one night and I did not want to miss seeing these girls. After all, we had a lot to catch up on. Stories were shared that truly fall under the category: “You Can’t Make this S#%T UP”!

“Ah how good it feels, the hand of an old friend.” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I also got to spend time with my older sister – time on the beach and dinner again at the bar at Franks – our favorite restaurant! AND I got to spend a couple of days with my older daughter and son-in-law who came down to my beach house for their vacation. Oh how I treasured that time! Saturday my daughter had her Ipad on the beach with a speaker and we watched the UNC baseball game. (Hello, Omaha!) We celebrated by grilling out, and eating dinner on the picnic table my son-in-law made. I have to brag on him – he makes wonderful furniture and this table is no exception. It even has 2 built-in coolers in the center. We are going to enjoy this all summer. I love it!

Sisters at the bar…

Beach time!

GO HEELS!

Dinner on the grill…

Dinner on the table…

Remember my baby boy had his 27th birthday last Friday? Well I also got to see him and his lovely girlfriend Sunday. I am so happy keeping with my New Year’s resolution of seeing my out-of-town kids more. We had brunch, visited, celebrated both of their birthdays (they share the same birthday!), walked around Charlotte, and got ice cream. It was a beautiful day, made more so by being with the two of them.

The Birthday Couple!

My favorite guy…

“The love of a family is life’s greatest blessing.”

Left Charlotte to go see my sweet momma. It was a long but wonderful day. Left the beach at 7 am, got home at 7 pm. Worth every mile and minute.

So I cannot end without recognizing that this Sunday is Father’s Day. Maybe that is what has put me in such a reflective state of mind. I also miss my Dad. He has been gone now for 18 years. I want to give a shout out to some Dads. My nephew continues to shine in his new role as dad to Jack, who we all adore. He is setting a great example. My son-in-law’s brother became a first time dad in April and he is absolutely crazy about, and very protective of their sweet baby girl. Does my heart good to see these young dads so full of love for their children and family. So Happy Father’s Day to all the loving dads out there!

OK just one more thing…late entry! One of my best friends got a new puppy. A Gordon Setter. Her third, and this one is special. Very special. (so were the other 2!) You just feel love and happiness with this puppy. I mean look at this face!

What a sweetheart!

Look at that face!

If your mother and/or father is still living, let them know how special they are. I guarantee they sacrificed a lot for you and love you more than life itself. Be there for your family and friends. Treasure every moment you have with them, because as we all know, none of us is promised tomorrow.

Best,

Leslie

Welcome back to SOLO at SIXTY!

Many of my friends’ and coworkers’ kids graduated from preschool, kindergarten, high school, and college these past couple of weeks. Early May for college, late May/early June for the others. The last “kid” in my old cul-de-sac graduated from high school, thereby making his parents, my old neighbors and dear friends, empty nesters. I remember my kids’ graduations from high school and college. Easiest date to remember is my middle child’s high school graduation date – 6/6/06 at 6 pm. Spooky Sixes! But that helps me remember the years my oldest graduated HS (2003) and my youngest (2009) since my kids are all 3 years apart in school. And then then there were undergrad college graduations, always on Mother’s Day (2007, 2010, 2013). Best Mother’s Day gifts ever! However, I have to admit that when my son (my youngest) graduated from college, I was not yet ready to say goodbye to Chapel Hill and give up having a child in college, so I was thankful that he was heading to graduate school there for another year. I was ready after that. Got a big raise (no more tuition)!

“Graduation is an exciting time. It’s both an ending and a beginning: it’s warm memories of the past and big dreams for the future.”

Do you remember your high school or college graduation? My high school graduation was at the Winston-Salem Coliseum. It is not one of my favorite memories as my boyfriend at the time broke up with me that night! Thankfully, my fellow cheerleader and soon to be college roommate was able to give me a ride to the “after party”. And the next day we left for beach week. (Heading down once again to see her at the beach today!) College graduation was much happier, after all, I was getting married just a couple of months later.

“Twenty years from now you’ll be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”  Mark Twain

My older daughter and I hosted a baby shower this past Sunday for her best friend from high school, who is also the daughter of one of my best friends. She is a beautiful mother-to-be and my friend is a beautiful grandmother-to-be! Such an exciting time. Surreal to see your child’s friend, who you watched grow up, expecting a baby of her own! How did our kids grow up so quickly? Where did the time go? One friend’s child is graduating from preschool, one from high school, and one is going to become a mother. Circle of life…

“Oh I love this book!”

Let’s eat!

Moms and Daughters…

Tall beautiful daughters!

This week was a full one for me. In addition to the baby shower, it was also a very busy week at work (month end financials due). Luckily, I was still able to sneak in a trip to Richmond to take another barre class my older daughter was teaching, had lunch with my “old” cul-de-sac neighbors, dinner with an “adopted daughter”,  tennis lesson with my younger daughter, and got to see Smokey Robinson in concert! I offered a ticket to my younger daughter, who graciously declined, which was good, considering she would have been the youngest person by far in attendance! Seriously! My friends and I found our seats (which were great!) and looked around at all of the old people, well, not OLD, let’s just say “people of a certain generation.” The place was packed, rightly so, and Smokey did not disappoint! WOW, his voice is the same at 78 (yes he is 78 years old and still has it!) as it was in his youth. Silky smooth. He talked to and interacted with the audience in between songs and was truly entertaining. Next to You’ve Got Mail, The Big Chill is one of my all time favorite movies. When my children were little, we vacationed on Fripp Island and would always make a day trip to Beaufort, SC and drive by the house where The Big Chill was filmed. Became an annual perk to our vacation that I looked forward to. Smokey played 3 songs from The Big Chill: Second that Emotion, My Girl, Tracks of my Tears, plus all my favorites: Cruising, You Really Got a Hold on Me, Tears of a Clown. So many memories flooded over me with each song he sang. Songs do that to you. They take you back in time, reminding you of how things once were and that’s ok. Those were happy times, but so is today. It truly was a fun and memorable night.

Barre with my girl!

Dinner with my Adopted daughter!

Aww my granddawg!

Fun Fun Fun!

OH Smokey!

“You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to be old.”  George Burns

As this is being published, I am heading to the beach to meet up with some special “old” but very fun friends. It is a treasure to spend time with people who have known you since childhood. Such a special bond. Can’t wait to get my fill of sunshine and that wonderful salty beach air. Do whatever you can to enjoy life every day. Be mindful of every minute, because when that moment is gone, you cannot get it back. And spend time with those special people in your life, telling them how important they are to you, because as we all know, none of us is promised tomorrow.

“Live life to the fullest and focus on the positive.” Matt Cameron

Best,

Leslie

PS   Friday is my youngest child’s birthday – he will be 27. How can my baby be 27?! I could not be more proud of the loving, caring, wonderful man he has become. And y’all know I absolutely adore him! Happy Birthday Michael! Momma loves you!

My baby boy…

is 27! And adored by his Momma!

Welcome back to SOLO at SIXTY!

Did you have a memorable Memorial Day? We had some rain up here…not a total wash out, just late afternoon showers. How many of us really celebrate Memorial Day in the way it was meant to be? I mean, do you even think about those who served, or are serving our country now? Or do you view it as a day off from work, time to have a cookout, go to the pool? Did you know Memorial Day was not even a national holiday until 1971, during the Vietnam War? It is always the last Monday in May and its purpose is to honor those who have died in service. I don’t really know anyone who died while serving our country, but I do know people who have served and are serving our country now. Several friends have children and grandchildren in the military. They are very proud. Rightly so.

ARMY Strong…

Decked out for Memorial Day!

“May we never forget freedom isn’t free… deepest gratitude to those who paid the ultimate price.

When my kids were still in school, most Memorial Day Weekends were spent at soccer tournaments, and also getting ready for the PROM! Same weekend. Posed a real problem. Hosted many prom dinners at my house and loved every one of them. Prom was finally moved to the middle of April when it was time for my son to attend. Good thing since he was always playing in a soccer tournament Memorial Day weekend. My older daughter went to 4 proms – freshman year to senior year. Back in “the day” my mother and her sister were mall walkers in Winston-Salem. They would meet at the mall and walk, walk, walk. Funny thing, she was looking at all of the prom dresses on display and bought 6! Brought them up to Charlottesville for my older daughter (freshman in high school at the time) to try on. Now mind you, my daughter had NOT even been asked to the prom, but my mother got so caught up in prom dresses that she “felt” her granddaughter would be asked. And she was! About a week before prom. And luckily, my daughter had a prom dress, compliments of my smart mom. The dress was beautiful, as was my daughter. My younger daughter went to several proms as well. First one she said she was going to wear one of her sister’s dresses because they were gorgeous. But a week before prom, she changed her mind. I panicked, we went shopping, and found the most beautiful dress! I remember she did NOT want to try it on but I made her. It was gorgeous, just like her. She loved it. Of course my son also went to proms, but the biggest problem I had for him was matching the corsage for his date with her dress. Oh those were fun times!

Carolina Blue…

Prom ready… lovely daughter

Beautiful dress, beautiful girl…

Priceless smile…

So young! So cute!

My handsome son…

Speaking of fun times, my younger daughter and I started tennis lessons again after work. (Hence the title – Love 40!) Picked up right where we left off in the fall, with the same instructor. Love him! He is so good and patient and I think we might be entertainment for him. He remembered that I have a problem distinguishing my left from my right. The lessons are great workouts as he has us hitting forehands/backhands/approach shots/forehand volley/backhand volley/overhead shots each. We were soaked after our lesson. And enjoyed every minute of it!

“Tennis is just like everything else. Work on it and you’ll improve.”

Charlottesville is a pretty big tennis town. All 3 of my children took tennis lessons with their friends every summer from our neighborhood tennis pro. There were matches on Thursdays against the other clubs in Charlottesville. My younger daughter even played tennis in high school. When we first moved up here, before I went back to work, three of my girlfriends (neighbors) and I took tennis lessons Wednesday mornings with the same pro who taught our kids. That was when our biggest decision was where we would go to lunch after! We had so much fun playing tennis and trying out new places for lunch. Just being Moms and friends.

“When you lose, you get up, you make it better, you try again.” Serena Williams

My daughter looks so natural hitting tennis balls while I am trying to remember all the directions our instructor is giving ME (follow through, elbow pointed straight, step in, step back). And I have a small problem with depth perception (in addition to the left and right thing)! For some reason the ball doesn’t always drop where I expect it to, especially since my daughter always hits with topspin. But I love every minute of it. Plus it is time spent with my child.

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” Arthur Ashe

What other fun did I have this past week? Well, one of my girlfriends and I were going out to dinner when her husband offered to cook dinner for us. Topped anything we could have eaten out! Also saw some movies – Book Club (with a friend), Life of the Party (with my movie-loving daughter), RBG (by myself). OMG you have to go see these movies! And get Movie Pass. I had a free month to share with someone and my younger sister took me up on it. She is getting hooked on movies too!

OH and I did go strawberry picking one more time. But due to all the rain we have had, I had to search harder for the strawberries. They were not as plentiful or as big as my last picking. Still, I picked and froze 5 pounds – now I have about 18 pounds of frozen strawberries for a year’s worth of smoothies!

Another 5 # of strawberries!

I know who they put this up for! (not me!)

So all in all, this holiday weekend was “right nice”, full, and lots of fun. I used to worry about how I would handle holidays – all the memories and traditions BD (before Divorce). But not any more. Luckily for me, 2 years later, I have moved on. I now find and make my own fun, memories, and traditions. I keep very busy, always looking for fun things to do and special people to do them with.

Find what makes you happy and do it. Make new memories and traditions. Cherish and spend time with those you love, because as we all know, none of us is promised tomorrow. And even though Memorial Day is over, remember the true reason for it. And if you come across someone serving our country and protecting our freedoms, thank them.

“Our flag does not fly because the wind moves it. It flies with the last breath of each soldier who died protecting it. Some people live an entire lifetime and wonder if they have ever made a difference in the world. A veteran does not have that problem. As we set this day aside to honor and thank our veterans, let us be mindful that we should do this every day of the year and not just one. May we never forget freedom isn’t free.” God Bless America!

Best,

Leslie

Welcome back to SOLO at SIXTY!

My oldest child turned 33 years old last Thursday. The child who first made me a mother. How could my little girl be 33? (Oh my, I sound like my Mom who thinks I am 33!) My younger daughter and I decided to surprise her on her birthday and take the cycle class she was teaching Thursday morning at 6:30 am. We left Charlottesville at 5:15 am to get to Short Pump in time to surprise her before class. That is true love, y’all. And actually, it wasn’t a true surprise as she kinda expected us to come. I mean she played my favorite song first (Justin Timberlake Can’t Stop The Feeling)! But it was so worth it to start her birthday off with family, balloons, and flowers. I left after her class and headed to the beach for a couple of days.

Birthday Surprise!

Ahhh… my favorite place!

What a view!

It was Bike Week at the beach, which is always an interesting time with lots of traffic, entertainment, loud noise (motorcycles), and a big boost to the economy. I have a friend who was heading down to the beach on the back of her husband’s motorcycle and packed everything she needed in one small saddlebag including a rain suit. How did she do that? I have duplicates of everything from home at the beach and yet I always seem to bring a carload! I saw many interesting sights – huge motorcycles, 3-wheel motorcycles, even a Volvo (mom mobile) pulling a trailer with 2 motorcycles. But the best was the truck below. Spotted it on my Friday morning run down Ocean Boulevard and thought I must get a picture of this! So once I got back to my house, I got my camera, hopped on MY bike and rode down Ocean Boulevard with all the “bikers” back to where I had seen the truck. I had to get the picture because it was indescribable. Right? The owner was so friendly as are most of the bikers. From W VA. Said he had seen me run by and of course I could take a picture. I wasn’t alone in showing interest in this truck. He actually built it. Rides 9 comfortably, even though it was only his girlfriend and him this trip. Told me to look inside which was luxurious, complete with a 27 inch TV that drops from the roof behind his seat. I should have asked about gas mileage!

Incredible Ride!

Way to travel!

MY bike!

“How do you tell a happy motorcycle rider? By the bugs in his teeth!”

Due to all the motorcycle traffic, my sister and I bypassed eating at Murrell’s Inlet Friday night, and went to Pawley’s Island for dinner at our favorite restaurant, Franks. Introduced her to dining at the bar. What fun the two of us had – just missed having our younger sister! The main reason for this sister beach trip was spending Saturday in Mount Pleasant seeing one of our favorite authors – Dorothea Benton Frank, and getting her latest book signed. Mission accomplished.

Dinner at the bar!

Let’s read…

Sister lunch…

But first, I had to watch the Royal Wedding Saturday morning. Did you watch it? I did not get up at 4 am, but woke up in time to see the beautiful bride, adoring groom, and loving and proud mother of the bride. I was touched by the pure love and adoration for each other on the faces of Meghan and Harry. And Meghan’s mother – how I admire her. Can you imagine being the only member of your daughter’s family in attendance, on the biggest day of her life? In another country, basically another world, without anyone to lean on, to talk to, to “be” with at the reception? But a mother’s love is stronger than any love.

“A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stand in its path.” Agatha Christie

Though the weather wasn’t the greatest, I still spent hours on the beach, walking and looking for shells (my greatest addiction). Like the strawberries from last week, searching for shells reminded me of all the treasures and blessings in my life. You can see from the picture below what luck I had. There were many broken shells but then a beautiful olive (SC State Shell) or augur would be right in front of me. Big ones and tiny ones. Reminded me that even when things in our lives may seem broken, there are many beautiful parts and so much to be thankful for. Even tiny ones.

Broken and Whole…

My treasures…

Mr. Crab, I want those augurs behind you!

Love these birds-remind me of my sisters…

“May the shells on the beach remind you that treasures arrive every day in the form of simple things.”

Accept the broken parts and be thankful for the treasures in your life. Look for and focus on the good. Find what makes you happy. Because as we all know, none of us is promised tomorrow.

“I believe that the ocean can always make you feel better. I believe that the waves wash away our worries. I believe in seashells bringing good luck. I believe in toes in the sand grounding my soul.”

Best,

Leslie

“I think I’ll go outside for a while… and just smile…”  Rascals 1968

Welcome back to SOLO at SIXTY!

I have been smiling a lot this past week. I got a lot of “love” from my anniversary blog – celebrating a year in the books! Thank you for all of your kind comments. Much appreciated! Here’s to year #2.

“Keep smiling because life is a beautiful thing and there is so much to smile about.”

I am loving these beautiful mornings, even with all the pollen. The days are getting longer, the sun is rising around 6 am and not setting until after 8 pm, and adding more minutes of light each and every day. I am back to running in the early morning before work. Although, I have to admit, I have enjoyed running in the afternoon, even when it was in the upper 80’s. It’s just so beautiful outside. Basically, a new season is here. Makes me feel like a new person.

“Spring heralds the return of the sun’s warmth, the renewal of life, and the reappearance of green and color everywhere.”

I hope all of you mothers, mothers to be, and mothers of fur babies had a special Mother’s Day. It was a beautiful day and I got to spend it with my oldest and youngest children (middle child was out of town but we celebrated once she got back.) I tell my children that all I want for Mother’s Day is for them to write a letter to me. And they do. I have saved every one of them. They are beautifully written from the heart and mean the world to me. I also received flowers and gifts. But it is those letters that I truly cherish.

Color coordinated family!

My favorite Man!

My Granddawg…

“Family is not an important thing, it’s everything.” Michael J. Fox

I was able to celebrate Mother’s Day early with my Mom and sisters. Last Thursday, Mom’s assisted living facility hosted a Mother’s Day Tea and fashion show for the residents and their families. My sisters and I took Mom out for an early Mother’s Day lunch at Cherrie’s Cafe, our favorite “ladies” restaurant. We had a lovely lunch complete with linen tablecloths and fabulous food (they have the BEST salad dressing – I bought 5 bottles to bring home). There was a bit of time between lunch and the tea, so I took Mom back while my younger sister headed to the Vet to check on her horse, and my older sister ran a few errands. When Mom and I arrived, there was my college roommate visiting her mom! And when Mom and I entered her wing, the activities director (who I have known since our children were in preschool!) called Mom over to the “Lancome counter” for a makeover and corsage. I left Mom in her capable and caring hands and slipped out to visit a dear, dear friend who lives very close by. It’s funny… if I had never moved, Mom would now be living within walking distance of my house. I could see her every day. The tea was lovely and the fashion show entertaining, but being with my Mom and sisters was so special. And even if Mom did not remember it the next day, she enjoyed having her “girls” together for the day. We did too.

Happy Mother’s Day Mom!

Mom and her girls…

“Time spent with family is time well spent. Family is the one constant in life.”

Saturday was also a beautiful day. Went for a good hot run in the morning, bought some new running shoes (I am addicted to running shoes in all colors), and then picked 13+ pounds of fresh strawberries. Talk about addicting! You just cannot stop picking. Every time you think you have enough, you see another beautiful strawberry. I almost had to put blinders on to leave. The hint I give to pickers: go to the far end of the row and start picking. Why? Because parents with children tend to start at the beginning. AND you have to carry that heavy box of strawberries back so better to end up closer to the check out. Brought them home, washed them, and froze the majority of them for my smoothies. Wanted to be outside, so I washed not only my car, but my daughter’s car that was here while she is out of town. Just a surprise for her and a thank you for being my editor. Besides, kept me outside all afternoon. I was going to see “Overboard”, but decided to spend the evening on my back porch watching a movie at home instead. And I had just seen “Isle of Dogs” the night before. Loved it! (Also saw “Ladybird” late Sunday afternoon – loved it too!)

Beautiful Day!

13+ pounds of berries!

Washed and ready for the freezer…

While I was picking strawberries, I kept thinking how fun it was pulling back the leaves and finding the strawberries – uncovering the prize. Sometimes, the berries were not quite ripe, but more often than not, there were many big red strawberries just waiting to be picked. Life is like that. We have to take the chance and look at what lies hidden. Pull back the curtain. Sometimes we find something painful, but more often than not, if we look really hard, we find the prize – happiness, opportunities, blessings. And it’s addicting – searching for and finding what makes you happy.

Hidden treasures…

The prize…

“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”

Tomorrow is the birthday of my oldest child. The one who first made me a mother; who taught me what unconditional love really means. I am so proud of the beautiful, strong, and loving woman she has become. She blesses my life every day. Celebrated her birthday early by attending a rooftop barre class she was teaching and going out for dinner. Happy Birthday Ali! Momma loves you!

My baby girl…

Rooftop barre class…

Nobody loves you like Momma does!

Birthday dinner out…

“Be a strong woman. So your daughter will have a role model and your son will know what to look for in a woman when he is a man.”

Go outside and just smile. Look up and be thankful for the problems that you do NOT have. Look for happiness in every corner of your life, because as we all know, none of us is promised tomorrow.

Best,

Leslie

PS  Mother’s Day marked yet another anniversary – May 13th – 2 years of being SOLO, 2 years in my own home, making all decisions on my own, planning for a future completely different from what I thought it would be. And yet, here I am, stronger and happier. Thankful. Grateful. Blessed.

Welcome back to SOLO at SIXTY!

What a difference a year makes. I started this blog one year ago as a way to begin writing, sort through my feelings, ease my pain, and hopefully help and encourage others who have experienced a loss in life. Plus have some fun and make some new friends. All accomplished! And along the way, I discovered a lot about myself. If you go back and read my first blogs you can see my pain and heartbreak. Both a physical and an emotional pain. A loss of not only what was, but of what I thought my life would be. I wished there had been someone I could have talked to who had gone through what I had, to let me know that my pain was real and relevant, and that it would ease with time. I hoped this blog might be that answer to someone else. Has my pain disappeared? Not entirely, but it has eased. As the year and the blogs progressed, the pain took a backseat to adventure and FUN!

“Sometimes you have to go through things and not around them.”

Five years ago (3 years before my separation in 2016), I discovered something in my marriage that turned my world upside down. And I had no one I could talk to about it, because I knew we would never split up (which is why I was blindsided in 2016) and I did not want our friends’ and families’ opinion of my husband (at the time) to change. I finally told my older sister and my older daughter what had happened, only because they were afraid I was very sick. I was – heartsick. Won’t go into details, but we worked through it. Since I had no one I could really talk to, I turned to inspirational quotes. Devoured and collected them and took each to heart. Started sharing 3 each weekday with my kids. Still do. Then decided I could share my collection with others. Hence… the blog.

My sweet younger daughter (the creative one in my family) helped me figure out the details and the name of my blog. She is also my editor to make sure I keep my focus and don’t embarrass my kids! I have discovered so much this past year:

• I am stronger than I ever thought possible.
• I am truly blessed with family, friends, health, and many opportunities.
• Being SOLO is not bad, actually it is “right nice.”
• I am NOT alone in my situation – I have met so many people traveling this same route.
• My pain and heartache pales in comparison to that of so many others.
• Life is what you make of it. “We are not given a good life or a bad life. We are given a life. It’s up to us to make it good or bad.”

“We all get the same 365 days. The only difference is what we do with them.”  Hillary Depiano

One thing being SOLO has taught me is that I am solely responsible for my life and my happiness. Though it was my busiest week of the month, I was able to squeeze in a lot of fun last week! My younger daughter invited me to join her and some friends for a vegetarian cooking class taught by Chef Nancy Bond of Eat Heal Glow, that included a wonderful dinner. Had a heavenly Spring Green Salad with Mint & Tempeh Croutons, delicious Vegan Eggplant, Sweet Potato & Zucchini Lasagna, and Vegan and Gluten Free Fudgy Superfood Brownies that were fabulous. I tried things I never have before – tofu, nutritional yeast, miso paste, tempeh, and so much more. Not only was it educational, it was so much fun! And I made some new friends. Win Win evening!

Our Chef Nancy!

Unbelievable lasagna!

I also got to have lunch and visit with my older daughter, son-in-law, and granddawg Saturday in Richmond before meeting my secret crush in the afternoon. Ahhhh yes… David Baldacci and I met (with 100 of our closest friends!) as we have nearly twice a year for the past 20 years, in the aisles of Barnes and Noble where he was speaking and signing books. He graciously personalized and signed 16 books for me (I missed “our date” last time and had to get those books signed too.) My older daughter went with me and met him as well, and though I know he does not KNOW me, he always remembers me and said “We’ve done this for so many years. I didn’t get to Charlottesville last year.” And to my daughter he said, “Your mom is very special. I love that she always stocks her kids’ home libraries with my books.” Be still my heart! He is a very entertaining speaker and a great author. Saturday was his 28th wedding anniversary and he was heading to DC to meet his wife for dinner. But first he had to sign my books!

Favorite Author!

Secret crush…

“Don’t worry…Beach Happy!”

“A new chapter of life for you begins today. Say goodbye to your past, and for the future, pave the way. Let a new story unfold. Smile, laugh, share, and cry.”

Perfect size beer for me!

Gma brought you a new toy!

Sit…

Photo bomber!

I am a different person from who I was this time last year, when I was searching for my identity becoming SOLO. This year, I am happy and content and I discovered there are many perks of being SOLO. I am comfortable going SOLO anywhere, getting a beer or a glass of wine, and visiting with others or just being by myself. I now enjoy going to dinner SOLO and eating at the bar where I am always entertained by the bartender and have met some interesting people. I love going to movies SOLO on my own time and seeing what I want to. I have mastered many tasks SOLO that I never thought I could – I replaced an evergreen tree beside my house this week with a fragrant bush. I admit I did it at dusk so no one would see me – it was comical. I had borrowed my son-in-law’s big shovel (forgot to take tools in the move) and dug around the tree, then bent it over one way and jumped on it, then the other way and jumped on it, back and forth, jumping until it gave way. WHEW! Took me an hour but I did it and was proud!

“A year ago, I would’ve never pictured my life the way it is now.”

This year I realized more than ever the importance of the relationships with my children, my sisters, and my family. I am now able to focus my energies on developing new friendships and strengthening the ones I have. And I cherish the friendships with my girlfriends near and far, so thankful for all the special people in my life. Speaking of special people, my girlfriend from Kentucky came to visit this week. She has been my cheerleader from day one!

“A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and sings it back to you when you have forgotten how it goes…”

Thank all y’all for going on this journey with me this year. Thank you for reading my blogs and sharing them with your friends and family. Thank you for your kind comments, stories, advice, prayers, and support. Thank you for being around for a year and cheers to a new year!

And if your mother is still living, make sure you call her, go see her, cherish her, and let her know how much she means to you this Mother’s Day, because no one loves you like your Momma, and as we all know, none of us is promised tomorrow.

Best,

Leslie