Welcome back to SOLO at SIXTY!
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Speaking of email… I received a sad one this week. Fresh Market is closing its doors here in Charlottesville. I am not surprised, it was never that busy, but I loved that store. It was very convenient for me, only minutes from my house and located in the same shopping center as one of our fitness clubs. I stopped there often to pick up something for dinner. Discovered their Little Big Meals thanks to Jersey Jenn’s blog, and made great use of them when I was having company. Loved their pimento cheese – a staple at our tailgates! I went by there the morning after I received my email, only to discover the closing had also been reported on the news, including the promotion that everything was 30% off. So 10,000 of my closest friends and I crowded into Fresh Market to pick up things we loved. Many people were getting fish, chicken, and meats to freeze. Bottles of wine. I stocked up on pimento cheese! As I looked around I wanted to say, hey where were all y’all these past couple of years?
“Close the doors that caused you pain, anger and suffering so you can open the ones that will bring you love, acceptance and inner peace.”
I’ll miss the convenience and the store itself. As my sister and brother-in-law will attest to, I don’t buy many groceries. My brother-in-law stayed with me recently when he was in town for a meeting. He told my sister that when he opened my fridge, it was basically empty. Just some yogurt, fruit, spinach, eggs, cheese, almond milk, tea, wine, and pimento cheese. No leftovers, no cream (I don’t drink coffee), no little take out boxes. Very few condiments. I mean, it’s just me here. Breakfast is a smoothie, lunch is at the office several days a week, and I’ll have avocado toast with tomato other days. And dinners? Well, I meet friends out some nights, have eggs right often, and really only cook on Tuesdays after tennis with my daughter and on the weekend. So what do I need with a lot of groceries?!? Funny thing is, I also have a fridge in my garage! It isn’t very full either (just waters and wine!) except during the holidays.
“So fill your heart with what’s important and be done with all the rest.”
My younger daughter called me Saturday morning to tell me her college roommate was in town with her precious baby. You know if there is a baby around, you will find me there! What a wonderful start to my day. Left there and went to visit my older daughter and then met a friend for lunch who was in town visiting her daughter. We actually talked about closing doors and moving on. She knew about my circumstances – she’s a blog follower! Told her I realized it was only hurting myself when I was suffering and sad, so I came to the conclusion that it was doing me NO good and it was time to close that door. She asked how I was doing now and how I had moved on. I look forward, not backward, and I stay very busy doing things I love. I’ve shared before that I do so many more fun things now that I am SOLO than I ever did before. Saturday was no exception. Drove back to Charlottesville after our lunch and went by my office. Left my car there and decided to walk to the movies, Jurassic Park, (thank you Movie Pass). It was good, not great, but good, entertaining, and heart stopping. I saw the original Jurassic Park years ago! It was such a beautiful evening that after the movie I decided to walk around our Downtown Mall. I had a gift certificate from a friend for a cheese board at a downtown bar, so I got one, a glass of wine, and sat outside and people watched. So entertaining! And that was my dinner (no groceries needed!). Our downtown mall is closed to traffic, totally pedestrian, with lots of entertainment. Walked around and watched some jugglers and musicians. Oh and I got some fresh peach ice cream. And Sunday afternoon found me back at King Family Vineyard.
“No matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn’t stop for your grief.”
When you lose your spouse and your best friend, someone you have shared over 35 years of your life with, in one swoop, you begin to re-examine everything in your life. Maybe he wasn’t my best friend after all? What was real? So many questions arise. And honestly, I know I will never have the answers. And I am ok with that.
“Sometimes you don’t get closure. You just move on.”
Do I miss him? I did. I missed talking to him several times every day. Especially about things happening in our kids’, families’, and friends’ lives that I thought he should know about. Or bouncing accounting questions around with him. Now that I have closed that door, I no longer reach for the phone to tell him things I think he should know about. He is on his own. This week marked 2 years since we signed the separation papers that preceded the divorce. There was no re-opening that door once I learned the truth. And I am ok with that too.
“Life is about moving on, accepting changes and looking forward to what makes you stronger and more complete.”
I know how difficult it is to make the decision to close the door on something you invested a lot in. Have you closed any doors? I slammed that one shut! But it took me a while to come to terms that it was time to move on and look forward to the future, not the past. It’s hard to accept that what you thought your future was going to be, was not coming to fruition. Change of plans. But once I closed that door, so many others opened. And with the right outlook, it can and will be much better. I truly believe this and am living it right now.
“Sometimes it’s very hard to move on, but once you do, you realize it was the best thing that could ever have happened to you.”
Be brave and smart enough to close the doors that need closing. Trust me, many more will open. And be brave and smart enough to open those doors. Look at this blog for example. I opened this door bravely, using every bit of courage I had to put my life and my writing out there. And what a blessing it has been for me. Life has so much to offer if we keep our eyes forward and our attitude upward. Make the most of every day, because once it is gone, you will never get it back. And besides, as we all know, none of us is promised tomorrow.
PS – Hope y’all have been enjoying Christmas in July on the Hallmark Channel! Goes through the end of July! HO HO HO!
One thought on “When one door closes…”
What a.great why to look at things! Thanks for sharing.