Welcome to SOLO at SIXTY! (REPOSTING FROM THIS WEEK 2019!)
For you married folk (and those who have become SOLO!), do you remember when you got engaged? Was it memorable? Special? Romantic? Honestly y’all, I don’t remember the exact moment I got engaged. Have I blocked it out? Possibly. I do remember going to look at rings, only 3 months after we started dating, and I remember talking to my parents in February, but beyond that…nada. Got married 6 months later, and stayed married for 35+ years.
I think a proposal should be memorable…romantic…special. It is, after all, a life changing moment for a couple. My son-in-law thought so as well – he planned a special trip to the beach house with my daughter, knowing that is one of her favorite places (besides Chapel Hill). Took her out to dinner then to the beach to look for shells, and, being an introvert, he waited for everyone to leave the beach. Well, by that time it was almost dark! He finally told her to look at the shell he had found. When she turned around, he was on one knee with a diamond instead of a shell. We now call this area “engagement sand” when we are on the beach. It is one of our favorite areas to set up our chairs! Joined them the following day to celebrate. Oh, and she did say YES!
“You don’t marry someone you can live with, you marry someone you cannot live without.”
OK, I cannot wait any longer – I am busting at the seams! I AM GAINING A DAUGHTER-IN-LAW! And I could not have picked a better one for my favorite guy, yes, my adorable son. He has been dating a kind, caring, smart, and beautiful girl who we (his sisters and I and of course my son!) absolutely love. She makes him so happy. As his mother, I cannot ask for more than for him to marry someone who fits right in our family, and whose family loves him just as much. Score 2 for us! My son’s fiancée (oh I love saying that!) has spent a lot of time with us – football games, basketball games, visits to Charlottesville, to Winston-Salem to see my family, and to the beach. She also spent a weekend with my younger daughter and me in Charlotte and ran a race with us when my son was out of town. As far as we were concerned, she was already a member of our family. And my son has felt a part of her family as well – and what a wonderful (and big) family it is! I met them last summer when they invited me for brunch one Sunday when I was passing through Charlotte on my way home from the beach. I had heard all about them from my son, and was so thankful to meet them in person, as I knew my son was very serious about this special girl. After all, I saw him kiss the top of her head once – and I just knew it then! Mother’s intuition.
“A daughter-in-law is one who marries your son and becomes your friend.”
So how did it all go down and how did I put 850 miles on my car in 2 days? My son wanted the proposal to be a total surprise and at a time when her family would be together to share the big moment. She is very close to her parents, 2 older sisters, their husbands and children, and her older brother (who my son is also very good friends with). He visited her parents to ask for their blessing and to see when the family would all be together. Just so happens that would be the week of the 4th of July. So he planned it for 6 pm Friday night, July 5th at Lake Toxaway in NC. I was blessed to be there as well. With no hesitation I was happy to drive 6 ½ hours to share in the moment – I would not have missed it for the world. Before I left home, I texted my prayer group and asked that they pray for the sun to be shining at 6 pm that evening and that I would explain later. Drove mostly through sun, constantly saying a prayer of thanks. Stopped by to see my mom – her exit is right off of I-40 on my way to the BIG EVENT! Sidebar: Mom is doing very well! She is much better now that she is back home in assisted living, surrounded by caring people, and is progressing well with physical therapy. I told her that I was heading to witness her grandson getting engaged. “What? Is he old enough to get married?” “Yes Mom, he is 28 years old.” “WHAT?!? Has he graduated from high school yet?” “Yep, he’s actually a man now, Mom.” “Well give him my love.” “Consider it done!”
So, back to the story… the sun was shining and I was sending up many thanks as I got closer to my destination. Until I turned into Lake Toxaway and, oops, it started pouring. Oh my, what would we do? Was there a Plan B? Nope. Ok, I had total confidence that the sun would shine – just like I did the day my older daughter got married and it was pouring rain in the morning, but clear by wedding time. Besides, my friends have a direct line to the Big Man above! After texting with my soon to be daughter-in-law’s mother, I parked at the top of their driveway and she smuggled me inside just as the rain stopped and the sun came out! No joke. My son took his (now) fianceé down to the edge of the lake and we all snuck out to the deck, cameras rolling. We watched them walk hand in hand to the edge of the water where my son got down on one knee, brought out the ring, and asked her to spend the rest of her life with him. Thankfully, she said YES! And lo and behold, there appeared a beautiful rainbow. In her family, rainbows hold a very special meaning, and so I understood why it had to rain before the sun shone brightly on this sweet couple. Special blessings.
I have never seen such happy kids! Big smiles all around. It was a total surprise for my soon to be daughter-in-law. Her family, my daughters, my sisters (I could not keep it from them – they also love this special girl and of course my son) and I knew, but it was a total surprise for her, just as it should be. It was also a surprise for her 4 nieces and 1 lone nephew (ages 3-7), who kept asking why Michael was on one knee and why they were kissing! Then a lightbulb went off and they ran to them screaming “Aunt Jenny, can we be flower girls!” We celebrated with champagne and a sunset cruise on the lake followed by a wonderful dinner. Her family is so welcoming, fun, and musical! After dinner when all the grandkids were tucked in bed, we sat out on the porch with a lovely fire, a glass of wine, and beautiful singing accompanied by a guitar. I mean, one of her sisters met her husband in an acapella group, and I think they all have musical talent. Musical talent does not run as large in our family, but we do enjoy listening! What a wonderful day it was.
“Who we marry is one of the most important decisions in life.” Nathan Workman
Saturday morning I woke up early, so happy and excited for my son and his fianceé. Plus I did not want to oversleep! I looked out my window to a beautiful calm morning with the sun reflecting off the lake. And who else was too excited to sleep? My future daughter-in-law! So we sat on the porch and just enjoyed the morning and talked. Oh my, she is so special. I could not be happier for my son or our family.
“Daughter-in-law: Created by God and hand chosen by my son to be loved, cherished, and valued in our family.”
Backing up a bit, I did spend the 4th of July with my daughters and my son-in-law’s family. My older daughter walked my 2.5 mile loop with me early in the morning (after her hour-long run!) and my younger daughter and I visited several wineries in the afternoon before I headed to a cookout complete with cornhole and fireworks. It was a busy and fun day, followed by such a special day.
My heart is full. I am so thankful. Big things are happening all around me. As I told you last week, my younger daughter is moving to Charlotte. I left my son and his soon to be in-law family Saturday and met my daughter in Charlotte to look at apartments before heading back to Charlottesville, hence the 850 miles. More to come on that next week. But first, this weekend is going to be filled with Hallmark Christmas movies (and packing up my daughter). Christmas in July y’all!
“Being a family means you are part of something very wonderful. It means you will love and be loved for the rest of your life. No matter what.”
I hope your hearts are full too. I am savoring these happy moments and memories with my family, because as we all know, none of us is promised tomorrow.
7/1/2020 HAPPY 4TH OF JULY Y’ALL!
PS We will be celebrating my son and future daughter-in-law’s one year of being engaged this weekend! Looking forward to having all my kids under the same roof again!