Welcome back to SOLO at SIXTY!
Ever felt both really happy and really sad at the same time? A bit confusing, right? Usually it is one or the other, but I am feeling both this week. My younger daughter was offered a job in Charlotte, NC, and will be moving soon… very soon! I am so happy for her because this is something she has been striving for. But geez, I am sad at the same time because I am going to miss her terribly. Not that I see her every day, but when I do see her, it is always a fun time. She is my “single buddy”. Over the last 3 years she has introduced me to almost all of the wineries (at least the best ones!) around here. We have worked out, run races, taken tennis lessons, gone to movies, cooked, and celebrated our birthdays together. And when I had my colonoscopy and my knee surgery, who took me? Yep, this child. Selfish, I know, but I am going to miss my girl. That’s the way… of the world…plant your flower and grow a pearl…
“The Sun is alone too, but it still shines.”
We’ve helped and supported each other. Flat tire? I’m there. Car accident? Be right there. Broken elbow (daughter)? Yep, right there. “Help, I can’t set my table ‘cause I am on crutches and company is coming!” “I’m on my way!” She shopped for me, updating my wardrobe. When I moved into my house SOLO, she spent the night with me when my sister left, so I would not be alone just yet. She is my editor and always ready with a “are you sure you want to say that on the internet?” I follow her advice as I trust her judgement. She will continue to be my editor. Right, sweet daughter of mine?!?!
“There is nothing as powerful as a mother’s love, and nothing as healing as a child’s soul.”
Needless to say, these next couple of weeks will be incredibly busy. In addition to helping my younger daughter pack and move, I’m also helping my older daughter and son-in-law finish their packing and make their temporary move. They are building a house which will not be finished for several months, but sold theirs within hours of putting it on the market, thereby finding themselves homeless at the end of the month. Offered to let them come live with me, but they decided to move to an apartment for a couple of months until their house is finished. I mean who wouldn’t want to live with their mother/mother-in-law for a couple of months… rent free even?!?! Go figure! So they are moving back to the apartment complex where they lived before they got married. Last weekend, I helped them pack up things that will not be needed in the apartment, but will go to storage (aka – my basement!). I brought back a load in my car, my daughter’s Tahoe was packed to the gills (with only enough room for my GrandDawg to sit with her head out the window), and my son-in-law’s truck was riding mighty low in the back it was so full. They actually started bringing boxes to my house several months ago when they “decluttered,” as suggested by the stager (who obviously knew what she was talking about), before their house even went on the market, and have continued bringing boxes every time they come to Charlottesville. Anyone who knows my older daughter knows she is one organized woman on a mission, so they are ahead of schedule on packing. (She’s the child who would have her school project ready to turn in a week before the due date, 2nd child would be finishing hers on the way to school, and my son in between!)
So here I am, happy for my kids, and sad at the same time. Feels kinda like becoming an empty nester again. Except I have been an empty nester for 10 years! And an empty SOLO nester for the past 3+ years. I have a dear friend going through the same emotions with a child moving to another state for medical school. Doesn’t matter how old our kids get, they will always be held so closely in their mother’s heart.
“There are only two lasting gifts we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots; the other, wings.” W. Hodding Carter
But on the bright side (there is always a bright side), I will have 2 kids to visit in Charlotte, who will now be much closer to each other. And they are closer to the beach house and to my sweet momma and sisters. So it’s possible I might see them even more often! (Look out Charlotte!) And heads up to my older daughter who was forced up the rung of the ladder for finding herself closest to momma now. This child calls me twice a day, on her way to and from work, just to make sure her momma is alive and kicking! And to talk. I treasure these calls y’all. I do wish we lived in the same town. It is so much fun to be in the same town with your kids. Who knows, maybe one day we will all live in the same town…
“Stop looking for reasons to be unhappy. Focus on the things you do have and the reasons you should be happy.”
Honestly, I don’t have to look far to find a reason to be happy. None of us do. I know, I know… there are moments and days when it feels like nothing is going our way and sadness rules. Like everyone else, I experience these moments and days too. But the sun always comes out again. I am happy with my life and where I am in that life. Happy with my family and friends. As sad as I am to lose my buddy, I am very happy for her. And happy that July just took a right turn to being the busiest month of the year for me with my kids, because it means I am a vital part of their lives. Oh and happy that Christmas in July is now on the Hallmark Channels until July 14th with non-stop Christmas movies! How great to share my 2 favorite seasons – Christmas and summer, at the same time!
And so incredibly happy that I am now able to walk normally, take some cycle classes, and sweat! Or as my sweet momma tactfully said to me once after a run, “Do you think running brings out the poisons in your body?” “Well, that depends…are you telling me I stink?” “Yes.” Last week I took a cycle class every day – and even made that early, pre-dawn trip to take my older daughter’s cycle class at our club in Short Pump. (Gosh I hope my sweat did not stink – who am I kidding – I don’t care! I love to sweat!) And I can now walk 2 miles. Life is good!
“The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.” Michael Altshuler
Who can believe 2019 is halfway over? Time is flying by y’all. The older I get, the faster it seems to pass. Tomorrow we will celebrate the 4th of July. I’ve been lucky enough to share the holiday with my son-in-law’s family for the past 5 years. There is a big family cookout complete with fireworks (which I brought back from the beach last month – learned all about the limitations placed on fireworks in VA – bought them from a man with only 3 fingers! Ok just kidding there – heard that from Jeff Foxworthy).
“You are the divine firework. Ignite the sky with your spirit, spark the night with your flame.”
I hope your summer is full of fun, your 4th of July is patriotic, that your happiness outshines your sadness, and that you are enjoying each and every day, because as we all know, none of us is promised tomorrow. That’s the way of the world…
PS “It will be celebrated… with pomp and parade… bonfires and illuminations from one end of this continent to the other.” John Adams (1735 – 1826) – on July 4th celebrations